The night sky in Japan was usually a calm, clear black sea. Islands of stars shone through the velvet ebony in a never ending dance that always amazed the carefree stargazers beneath. However, that was not the case this night. The clear black had taken on a hazy grey color, as clouds of seemingly no origin spread out, enveloping the once calm blackness in a deathgrip of thunder and lightning.

The ground Dan stood on seemed split by the very same lightning rocking the sky. The dark, pebbly earth still seemed dry and cracked despite the torrential rain pouring down around him. The dirty grey karate suit tied tightly to his young frame still flew around the taught muscles of our hero in the howling wind.

Shielding his eyes with one hand, he called out “Don’t you think it’s a bad night for this!?”

The hilltop was deathly silent for a brief few seconds, before the answering call rang out “No! This is perfect!”

Dan wanted to get a closer look at the owner of the voice, and he would have if the fear of being beaten senseless hadn’t stopped him. The voice was far different from the calm, albeit strict tone of his friend Gouki. This voice was rougher, harsher, sounding more similar to an animal grunt than the human voice of his friend.

“The best way to perfect a technique, is to be one with the element it calls upon.” rang out Gouki’s voice, “This is the ideal environment for the Hurricane Kick. Now, show me your technique! Attack!”

Dan closed his eyes for a brief second, then flew into a sprint the moment they opened. In the enveloping gloom, a bright flash of red stood out. The red of Gouki’s hair, always tied up in a style that made him look two inches taller. On his last step, Dan let his knee buckle under him, then straightened it out in an instant, using the force to fly through the air towards the waiting form of Gouki. Straightening his body perpendicular to the near-barren earth beneath him, Dan’s left leg swung out as his body spun, almost seeming to be propelled by the howling wind around him.

Gouki held up his forearms, taking the full brunt of the kick. He dug his heels into the dark earth, hardly moving despite the force of Dan’s assault. He readied himself again. Dan was still spinning, and had nearly come around again for the second kick. This time Gouki lifted one leg and hopped up, and the force of the kicks impact let him fly about a foot through the air. The Hurricane Kick was almost complete, as Dan came into his third spin and tried to hit Gouki with the final kick. Gouki caught this one in his forearms again, but pushed back this time instead of just being forced back. Dan seemed confused, in the air, and was facing Gouki just before he came to a landing.

While Dan was still airborne, Gouki crouched down to the ground, already channeling the dark force he had discovered into his fist. Letting loose on the now-defenseless Dan, Gouki rose up like a demon, his fist coming up across Dan’s chest and also striking with deadly accuracy under Dan’s chin.

Dan flew backward, his senses reeling and made even more confused by the freezing rain that seemed to hit him from all sides. Lightning crisscrossed around him, over, under, the stark contrasting lights and darks threw him into a frenzy of helpless terror and pain. His back finally hit ground, the rough earth digging it’s way into his skin and clothes. The pain was the least of Dan’s worries as twin spheres of the deepest crimson penetrated the dark haze surrounding his shaken equilibrium. Spheres which narrowed at dark pupils materialized from their centers, staring down at him.

“Get up.” said the now familiar demon of his friend. It wasn’t a request.

“Uh...Gouki? C’mon, chill out....” choked out the shaken Dan.

“I said GET UP!” came the angry reply, seconds before a hand with a grip that might as well be crushing cement lifted him up by the collar, and another fist bore it’s way into the face of the grey suited fighter.

“Gouki...” said Dan, unable to remove himself from the only now wettening earth under his back. He was unable to say any more as a fit of coughing interrupted his speech, followed by a sickening coppery taste in his mouth. He could only stare blankly as the hand lifted him up again, ready for a killing blow...

The blow never came, as Gouki was the one to feel a new attack against himself. A searing blue bolt of energy flew at an insurmountable speed across the hill, striking the enraged Gouki in the back, making him drop Dan in the process.

“How could you Gouki!? He’s only a child! And my own student, no less!” rang out a new voice. Its deep, wise baritone voice somehow separated itself from the raging storm around them all, making it clear despite the screaming gales that nearly threatened to sweep them off their feet and carry them to the four corners of the world.

With his back still to the new voice, the ruby-eyed Gouki spoke out into the night “You honestly think he only learns from you?” A solid stomping noise reverberated behind Gouki as Dan stared at his demonic friend with newfound terror, the noise of feet splashing across the wet ground getting faster until all at once, they stopped. For a brief moment, the ruby glow faded from the eyes of Gouki, and he spoke in his old voice, “I’m sorry, Dan...” With a whoosh that blended almost perfectly with the screaming winds, Gouki was gone, leaving only several rapidly fading shadow images marking his trail. A moment later, Dan felt the very ground shake beneath him as one mammoth foot smashed into the ground where Gouki had been standing. As Gouken landed from the jumping kick, Dan blacked out seeing only his masters outstretched hand before him.

Dan groaned, waking up to a sore pain emanating through his body for the second time that day. That really was too many. He slowly stretched out his arms, his memory kicking in to remind him not to role over just yet. His arms ran over a soft, slightly coarse material, and his fingers gripped the edges of his newfound resting place as they came fully extended. Something lightweight was on top of him. By moving his arms downward, he discovered it was the same material. A sheet. He was in a bed. Since it seemed okay to move again, Dan cautiously rolled in a slow manner, reaching down the side of the bed to make sure a sudden fall wouldn’t mean testing his buttocks for wood impact resistence. His hand came to a stop as it fell onto a round, hairy thing that appeared to be moving.

“Mess up my hair and you get injured even worse.” warned a voice from below the side of the bed. Suddenly, and without warning, two hands came up over the side of the bed and launched a large white and blue object over Dan’s head. An object which backflipped in midair and came to a land on the other side of the bed. “GOOOOD MORNING!”

Dan was, to say the least, surprised. Scrambling to get away from the insane creature grinning at him, he forgot that the same creature had just backflipped from under his hand, and thus had nothing on which to stop his fall. That was, however, rectified the moment Dan’s face crashed into the carpeted floor, putting him in the same standing-on-his-face pose that had knocked him out earlier. Dan fell forward, and saw the face of the evil creature poke over the side of the bed and look down at him.

“Perhaps I should have woken you more gently, brother?” it asked. The tone of the voice, now sweet to the mortal ear since it had lost the mad screaming of good morning, was instantly recognized by our prostrate hero.

“RAN!” he yelled.

“Ran? No, I jumped, nyuk nyuk nyuk...” Ran shot back.

Dan groaned. It still wasn’t his day.

A quick scene change later, the pink clad one was sitting down to a really really late breakfast with his slightly less-clad blue-suited sister. The large tee shirt and jean shorts revealed far too much in Dan’s opinion, but he was sure he could pummel anyone staring from a window or hole in the wall as he was told people often do. After all, that’s what brothers are for, random chivalrous violence and all that.

“So let me get this straight, you let an old lady in a run-down shack tell you gangsters were coming after me to do various gang-related activities to your little sister?” asked Ran.

“That’s about the size of it.” said our hero.

“And you wanted to STOP THEM!?” the surprised sister asked. This question immediately led to Dan spitting out the cereal he was eating and sputtering like an idiot, calmly over looking the fact that his sister now had a face covered in milk and bran-related substances.

“Y-you...you shouldn’t be like that! Father brought you up to be a respectful upstanding woman!” protested the scared crapless brother. What had she been doing while he was away!?

His response to the question started with a chaffing grin from Ran. She promptly put a hand to her forehead, posing dramatically as a girl would in a Shakespearian play. “Oh, you think your innocent, dear sister would even think such unspeakable acts? Oh, the faintness I feel, oh....” she tried to repress her giggles as she pretended to faint, her head landing on the table while she ignored the spilt, er, spit milk.

“So you’re a....you mean you’re not...” Dan stammered, trying to find the words. Talk like this was NOT something he was suited for.

“Relax, your little Ran’s a good girl.” she said, going into the third person with that little narcissist touch that had always freaked Dan out slightly in childhood. Regardless, he sighed in relief.

“So, there are no gangsters?”

“Hmmm...nope. Unless you count those delinquents who go to Gedo High, but they’re no trouble. I think that Daigo person has a thing for me...ah, but let’s not get into that.” she said, putting a smile up to mask the ‘Ask Me About Him and You Will Die a Thousand Deaths!’ look.

“Well...It’s certainly a load off my mind, then.” sighed Dan.

“What mind?” joked the female Hibiki while wiping her face off.

“Oh har dee har har....seriously though, you have no clue how worried I was.” he replied. The heartfelt worry seemed to sober up the girl, as she calmed down and walked around the table. Wrapping her arms around the slightly battered Dan’s shoulders, she calmly whispered in his ear “It’s okay...I’m glad you went to so much trouble, bro.” Dan’s own arms came up to return his sisters embrace, and together they simply reveled in being reunited again.

“Okay, first things first. We simply must get you some new threads, dear.” said Ran. She had since donned a pair of jeans to replace the shorts she had on earlier, and was wearing a bright blue jacket over a white shirt that had replaced the blue one that had gotten covered in milk as her face had. She was currently standing just inside the open doorway to her domicile, ready to jump out and face the brave world beyond her walls, but first she had to wait for her scaredy-cat brother to lurk out from the hallway. Seriously, a guy should carry more clothing than just a black shirt and a pink karate outfit. Hell, even that walking dream in white probably carried an extra outfit in his duffel bag. Ran agreed wholeheartedly with that girl who idolized him. What was her name? Ah well, doesn’t matter. Those bulging muscles...that wavy brown hair...even that red headband he always wore just made her feel all shaky. Why couldn’t her brother have gotten the same great reputation that man had? He trained at the shotokan dojo just like Dan had, didn’t he?

“Good good, fine fine, I just wanna change as soon as possible...Uh...Ran? Ra-aan? Is there something on the ceiling?” her brothers voice came out from the hallway, snapping her back to reality. She realized her thoughts of that man, with his perfect body hidden only by that white gi...wait wait wait don’t start thinking that again! Her thoughts of him had caused her to go into that dreamy state again and she had apparently found something VERY interesting to look at on the ceiling of Ran’s Swingin’ Bachelorette Pad. Dan’s head stuck out of the hall, and was also looking up to see what was so deserving of her attention.

“Uh...no no, nothing at all!” she quickly tried to stand in the shadow of the doorway to hide her mad blush. “C’mon, lets get going before the store closes!”

“But are you SURE this isn’t too...uh, flamboyant for me to be wearing outside?” Dan asked.

Ran groaned internally. The man known for wearing bright pink all the time was asking her if this was flamboyant!? “It’s all I had in my wardrobe that would fit you, so deal with it!”

Dan meekly stepped into the light from the dark hallway. While his feet were mildly comfortable in the sandals he now wore, that was about all that was comfortable. His near-totally bare legs seemed surprisingly white in the light of the sun showing through the doorway, before coming to an end as his thighs were crammed into a pair of flaming red bike shorts, with each side pocket brandishing a big sunflower emblem. Dan didn’t exactly have the correct, er, ‘proportions’ for his sisters shirt, either. Bright yellow, the neckline nearly choked him it was so tight, and it was really showing too much of his stomach region. The worst part was the big smiling bunny on the front of it. Had it been the famous Playboy Bunny, it might not have been so bad. However, such was not the case. This hell-sent creature donned a pair of red overalls, and two huge blue eyes that practically seemed to scream of evil cuteness. The worst, most indescribable act of unholy terror though, was yet to come, and one would only notice if they could pry their eyes from (or more accurately, if they could still see after witnessing) the white legs, bunny shirt, or the creepy bulge that seemed to be molding itself to the tightness of the bike shorts. He had to take out his ponytail. The now untamed hair fell a little farther now, almost all the way down his back. Altogether, it was not a very flattering ensemble. To make matters worse (and why not?) Ran didn’t have a car. They were going to have to walk several blocks to get to the clothing store.

Dan groaned. This wasn’t going to be his day either.

“Dan! Get the heck outta there!” Ran angrily cried.

“No! I’m not coming out until nightfall and that’s final!” replied the mailbox.

“How in the nine hells did you get in there!?” she asked.

“None of your damn business!” replied the Voice from Within The Mailbox.

“Those fraternity boys were giving you a compliment! Really!” the weary sister reasoned.

“Somehow I doubt that ‘Megababe 459' is a compliment!” shouted the angry Voice from Within the Mailbox.

“Don’t make me come in there after you!” threatened Ran.

“Just try it!....huh?”

“What’s wrong?”

“That’s weird...there’s a ticking noise in here....”

“What?” asked the perplexed photo girl.

“Some person must be mailing a loved one a clock!....I think it’s....here in this package!”

“Dan, enough about the clock! How are you going to get out of there!?” Ran was quite sure she heard the sound of something being shaken before the mailbox exploded.

KA-BLAAAMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

“I don’t believe this!” ranted Ran. “What kind of a world is this when a persons mail isn’t even safe from some stupid terrorist bomb!? It’s really unbelievable how a safe mail box nowadays is looked upon as something that’s nigh-impossible to achieve, and why is that I ask you? It’s because of the capitalist dogma corrupting the society of conformist free-thinking right-wingers, that’s why! There is no total wrong yet there’s plenty of non-rights, which in turn translates into three rights making a wrong left right socialist! Our very moral fiber is being crippled with devastating macroeconomics on the national deficit! The liberals are in control conservatives, whose fascist tactics undermine the dogma of the paradigm! Germany, America, Russia...they can have all the democracy they want! The wind emanating from the buffalo is something no one cares about! No one even worries about it! No one flushes the toilet! It’s everyones fault, yet no ones, yet someones, and what’s more, everything is all now! It’s a big hubjub hubub ho hum conundrum milkshake hotcake try some buy some fee fi fo fum frumbly dumbly it bit knick-knack paddy whack diddly doot doot flub flab jab straight hadoken gadoken messatsu-ratsu shippu bam-booken! And what’s more, the super boobiebombermaru machination fragmentation lets do the bolero sombrero that doesn’t work! It’s a damn shame, and something must be done, but nothing will be, and that’s why it won’t be! It’s stupid, it’s depressing, and that being said...”

“Um...Ran?”

“Huh? Oh, yes big brother?”

“Before you do say it, would you mind helping me out of this tree?” requested the slightly charred sibling. The world looked so interesting from upside down, Dan thought. Or perhaps that was simply the blood rushing to his head.

“Oh! Right, gotcha, no problemo!” Ran gave a quick thumbs up, and ran off.

“Uh...to help me, you must be here....” Dan reasoned to no one in particular. Dan turned his head ever so slowly, to keep from falling and cracking his skull on the pavement that now looked waaaay farther below him than it had a minute ago. As he turned, a strange looking object came into his field of vision. Large, green, rolling his way....what could it be? “.....oh crap....”

Ran grunted as she pushed the garbage dumpster towards the large tree. It was a perfect plan on paper. Or at least it would have been had she written it down. Push the dumpster against a tree, stand on top and help her brother down. Very simple. Childs play, even. Ran sighed, this thing was heavy! But it was getting easier to move. ”It’s getting easier....” Ran thought. That was the last thing she thought before the dumpster suddenly picked up more speed than she intended and zoomed away from her. As she lay on the ground, she looked up and saw the upside down-looking dumpster heading for the upside-down tree with her right side-up brother hanging in it. ”Maybe I should have closed the top first....” Ran thought as the dumpster slammed into the tree, shaking her brother loose and into the gaping maw of the rusty metal. Ran quickly sprang to her feet as she heard the metal top slam closed.

“Don’t worry brother! I’ll get you out!” hollered Ran. She ran over to the dumpster, and was just about to open the cover when the loud sound of a diesel engine filled her ears. “It can’t be...” thought Ran as she peered around the side of the dumpster. “.....CRAP!!!!

That day, Ran found out just how impossible it was to catch a speeding garbage truck before it made it’s routine stop at the local landfill. Dan found out that a trash compactor is actually a lot roomier than the average person would believe.

It was a fine day in the Bogard Clothing Store. The customers were all finding what they wanted, there was a very small amount of fat people trying on shoes that wouldn’t fit over their big toe, and even the birds seemed to have overlooked the sidewalk outside as a place to drop their...well, droppings. That all changed, however, when HE came in. Six solid feet of pure odor, wearing an outfit that begged for the bearer to be shot on sight. Long brown hair, tight red bike shorts, and a rather...flamboyant shirt that looked like it had been yellow at some point in its torturous history. His bare feet made a stomach turning squishing noise as they walked across the linoleum, occasionally dropping little multicolored blobs that looked to be banana peels, rotten grapes and various things no one really had any need to identify. One of the salespeople who probably had more guts than nasal passages timidly approached the Walking Smell, and tried to warn him of the rules.

“Uh...u, excuse me sir...”he began, “but, uh...no shoes, no servi–“ He was quickly cut off when the Walking Smell whipped its head around and gave the person some sort of warped look of insanity. The salesman quickly shrieked like a baby and dove behind a table. The Walking Smell turned back on his regular course, and walked up to one of the other salespeople. Stopping about a five feet (thank the gods) from the new salesmen, the Walking Smell proceeded to utter human speech.

“I.....want....clothes....” it said. The salesmen backed away very, very slowly. When he began to say something about browsing and seeing what it wanted, the Walking Smell was upon him in an instant. It grabbed him in one disgustingly dirty hand, and held him very close to its own grimy, taught face. “I.....want....CLOTHES!” This proved to be too much for even this stalwart salesmen, and soon the contents of his lunch were added to the glorious array of colors already adorning the hide of the Walking Smell.

The Walking Smell sighed. It still wasn’t his day.

“Aw, Dan, it wasn’t that bad!” Ran pleaded from behind her big brother, all the while silently praying that the wind didn’t change. Her arms were getting heavy and it was kind of hard to see, but she sure as hell wouldn’t complain. Her arms were weighted down with several colored shirt and kinds of pants, and when she ran out of room on her arms the nice salespeople had politely allowed her to pile some outfits on her head, and even managed to hook some clothing on her shirt and jeans. “I mean, they did give you this totally new wardrobe when that guy yakked all over you! I’d say that’s a streak of luck, wouldn’t’ you?”

“.............” replied her brother. Ran sighed, and prayed that there was enough Lysol in her apartment. There probably wasn’t, but one always did have to make sacrifices for family.