"Wow, wasn't that an amazing end to an amazing match?!" Hiro shouted. "Dio and his shadow, united by fate!"

Dai rolled her eyes, sarcastically replying with, "Thank you for your inspiring commentary. Now we move onto something completely different."

"Not completely different! For this match involves the other guy that Dio and Shadow Dio were talking to! THE SUSPENSE! Will Edge call upon Dio for help?!"

"They don't even know each other," she flatly stated.

"Oh." However, Hiro still battled on to find some overblown meaning in the match. "In any case, he's gotta fight the cute Chinese zombie girl, Lei Lei! They've had an intense rivalry! They... They... They..."

"They both use knives?" Dai interjected with.

"Yes! Blade against blade, boy versus girl! Everything's at stake tonight! This battle shall decide which is superior!"

"Or rather, it won't decide anything at all."

"You believe this match has no inner value? No symbolism? No DEEP MEANING?!"

She sighed. "Let me guess. Hyo's soul is a diamond."

Hiro stared at Dai, shocked. "How'd you guess?!"

"Forget it. The combatants should be walking out soon."

"Speak of the devil! Here comes Edge now! Accompanied by Gan, Taku, Muso, and Sho!"

Indeed, this was exactly what happened; Hiro did not exaggerate. Edge, Gan, and the others walked on out, Edge especially strutting cockily, posing for the audience.

"And it seems as if he's brought backup and lots of it!" Hiro continued with.

Dai smiled thinly. "Proving once and for all that women are indeed superior?"

"Errr... No! Hyo's not a woman!"

"You sure?"

"Heeheeheeheehee!" Edge giggled out. "This'll be no problem!"

The audience quickly found its bad guy for the match and booed him.

"Oh yeah?! Well..."

The following act could not be seen by television viewers, as Edge's whole hand was blurred out. This only resulted in more booing, despite the Gedo students' attempts to cheer over them all.

"It appears as if he is not the popular one," noted Dai.

"But he's gotta compete with a cute zombie girl!" Hiro shouted, as though it wasn't obvious enough. Of course a cute girl would be cheered over some crazy gang member.

"Zombie?" Edge thought aloud. "No one said anything about a zombie!"

This could be trouble, Edge thought.

Jennifer didn't like the sound of that. "Cute zombie girl? What kind of name is that!"

Said cute zombie girl blinked. "But that's what I am..."

"Yes yes, except when you associate zombie you have brain eating icky things. Cute and girl just doesn't strike terror in the hearts of people. You need a different title!"

The announcer boomed again. "Aaaaand here she is, the ancient zombie girl, Lei Lei!!!!"

Jennifer ignored the announcement and continued musing. "OK, how about, Demonic Zombie Lady Lei Lei!"

She frowned. That wasn't the kind of name she wanted. "Huh, sounds mean."

"Exactly!" Jennifer smiled. "You've gotta do this for battles."

"OK!" She was going to do it. With a big grin and a clenched fist of determination, she announced to the world her new title of FEAR. "Oh people, I am Demonic Zombie Lady Lei Lei...pleased to meet ya!"

That huge smiled ruined everything. Jennifer slapped her forehead. "Terrific..."

Lin Lin wasn't so patient. The entire crowd was waiting. She began charging for the usual spell they use in times like this. "Ready, sister?"

With a nod, Lei Lei regained the vitality in her body and a talisman on her face.

Edge stared at this... Demonic Zombie Lady Lei Lei? What the hell?

"Aaaaaaaand it's the fighting stare!" Hiro shouted. "Feel the electricity crackle through the air!"

"Nothing's happening," Dai more accurately announced.

"I've gotta fight that?" Edge asked himself.

Gan apparently overheard this. "Of course, Edge! You can do it! She doesn't look so tough!"

"But she... and that other girl... They merged..."

He was undeterred. "Gahahahaha! Go show her the strength of Gedo!"

Stalling, stalling... "Um, they said we could use that teleporter thing, right?" he asked his group in general.

Taku blinked. "Yeah..."

Edge raised his voice. "Hey you! You wanna use the teleporter? I don't like the atmosphere here!" Then maybe I'll have a chance to win, he thought. Maybe the odds will be better in a different place!

She jumped at the opportunity. Literally. "Sure thing!" she replied with a big smile.

Her Other Half was more dissenting. "Waaaaaaait!!!"

"What's wrong?"

As if it wasn't obvious. "'Sure thing'? But but...that's like accepting candy from a stranger."

"And what's wrong with that?" Lei Lei returned to her opponent. "I'm comiiiiing!"

From the background, Jennifer sighed.

"Okay, over here!" Edge walked over to the teleporter, stopping in front of it.

"Wow," Dai said unemotionally. "They've decided to use the teleporter. Guess they think they're too good for us or something."

Hiro was more enthused. "Isn't this exciting?!"

"Like this?" the Zombie girl said. Machinery was not something she was especially accustomed to. Especially machinery by an opponent who by all means would try to stab her in the back (also literally) when her head's stuck in that weird...thingy.

"Yeah. Now let's see here..."

Saikaku, Edge's flunky of sorts, popped up from behind the teleporter. "I'll help!" He hit a button, activating the teleporter. Both Edge and Lei Lei disappeared.

"Where, oh where, will they end up?"

Dai's question was partially answered when the picture appeared on the screen.

"OH MY GOD!" Hiro yelled. "THEY'RE SUPER-DEFORMED!!"

And indeed, they were. Bizarre? Yes. Freakish? Yes. But ever-so-adorable.

"Yeah, I modified it!" Saikaku announced proudly, grinning. "Isn't it great?"

"There's one more thing for the production crew to fix," muttered Dai.

Ooookay. What just happened here? And why did they look like freaky internet fanart?! "Huh?!" She waved to attract the attention of the culpruit. "What did you just do?!"

Said culprit glanced over at that girl... the decidedly non-zombie girl who still remained behind. "I said that I modified it! Now it can send people to the... Anime Zone!"

Immediately after this was said, the other Gedo students gave Saikaku the weird stare of a lifetime, but he didn't seem to notice.

Mad scientist gone horribly wrong, or just an Otaku with too much time on his hand? Jennifer certaaaainly did not want to find that out. "Anime...zone?" This was too much to be believed. Blink blink. "You mean like Sailor Moon and Sakura and Ki?"

"Yep!" he chirped, smiling happily.

"Poor, poor Edge," Taku lamented.

Back in wherever the two combatants were supposed to be, said fighters were trying to figure out what had just happened. Edge looked at Lei Lei. "Big eyes... little feet? Where are we?"

"I don't know..." Lei Lei then felt a huge sweatdrop form over her forehead. This wasn't right... "But we must get out! Lemme out lemme out!!!" Her panicking run took effect. Which wasn't right either. Unless she grew 999 legs without noticing it yesterday... "I didn't know I could do that."

This was a bad place.

Edge blinked at zombie girl's newfound temporary limbs, then held his hand up to his face, making a most unpleasant discovery.

"Holy fuck!" he shouted. "My eyes are bigger than my hands!"

"Hmmm..." Did she grow like an extra head or something during the confusing teleportation? Fortunately she could confirm everything with a conveniently placed mirror a few paces back. What she saw made her giggle.

"Hey Lin Lin, you even have eyes and a small cute mouth!"

Sister, during her paper form, usually couldn't express emotion well. But this time her confusion was clear, and soooo adorable! "Hee, hee!"

"So... So are we still supposed to fight, even though we're stuck here?" Edge asked the cute little zombie girl.

"I don't know," she admitted. This wasn't the tournament arena. Or was it and she didn't know? "Does it still work?" With a gesture to check everything above her sleeve, a cannonball dropped, rolling straight for the fellow with the strange hair. "Ooops..."

The cannonball struck Edge, causing some kind of gems to scatter all over the place. "Ow! What was that for?!"

Oh darn. "Sorry." She rubbed the back of her head in an apolgetic gesture. Then she saw something red. Blood? Oh nononononono, cannonballs weren't supposed to cause blood to fall!

And blood wasn't generally shiny and shaped like a small stone, was it? "What's that?"

Edge shook his head to help clear away the confusion his mind felt, but it still ached. "Ow... They look like jewels or something..."

So was he rich? Why didn't he get a haircut then if he has precious jewelry popping out of him. Lei Lei picked it up, only to have it evaporate like mist in her hand. A 'pffft' sound replaced its texture. "Weeeeird."

And then the cameramen cut to the announcers for some stupid reason.

"Well, while they're trying to figure out their surroundings... I've got a surprise for you, Hiro," Dai said.

"What is it?! Tell me tell me tell me!"

"Our special guest announcer, the student body president of Justice High... Hyo Imawano."

Apparently, Hyo could fly, because he was doing that right now, his long white ponytail flapping in the breeze, and the fringe on his shoulders following suit. He landed at the announcers' table, then put on a headset.

"Hyo! You're my hero!" Hiro announced.

"Ftt, you and everyone else. Weaklings," Hyo muttered.

Dai rolled her eyes. What a jerk.

"Uh, yeah..." Hiro decided to ask the burning question on everyone's minds. "So Hyo, is your soul really a diamond?"

"Of course it is!"

"Wow! Really?!"

"Yes, and so is yours, if you eat," Hyo began to go into infomercial mode right about then, "Chef Imawano-brand ravioli!" He held a can up, giving the camera a good shot of it.

"You just came here to shill ravioli?" Dai asked, annoyed.

Hyo laughed. "Not just any ravioli!"

"IT'S THE GREATEST RAVIOLI EVER MADE!" Hiro screamed to the heavens.

"The flavor, the texture, the extra-big picture of me on the can... All at an economical price! And if you bring fifty labels of ravioli to a participating grocer near you, you get a cardboard cutout of me!"

"Chef Imawano." Dai scoffed at the thought, rolling her eyes. "How the mighty have fallen."

Meanwhile, while that mindless stupidity was going on...

Following the girl's lead, Edge took one of those gem things, too. "This is like a bad acid trip or something..."

"Acid what?" Most be one of those modern words she hasn't learned yet. Didn't matter, she was having so much fun collecting all the gems on the floor. Except, like all good things, it had to end. With only one left. "Uh-oh." She glared at Edge.

Oh no she didn't. That gem was his! He grabbed it. "So... now what?"

And there it was. "Hey!" She frowned. "I wanted that!" Time to give him one of her patended pouts, complete with crossed arms. They didn't have too much of an effect.

That was before her loose sleeves unleashed another instrument of destruction towards the little thief.

Smack!

Edge found himself sprawled across the ground, surrounded by more gems. "Would you stop doing that already?!" He pulled a knife out of his pocket and tossed it at the little klutz.

"Ow! I wasn't doing it on purpose!" Where there should have been a wound there was only...more gems. She retaliated with a knife of her own.

He attempted to dodge the knife, but being super-deformed really changed one's way of moving, so it struck, more gems spilling. "Be more careful, then!" he shouted, trying to grab some gems before Lei Lei took them all.

There wasn't much to say to him then. It was just a matter of getting more and more gems. Why? Umm...nevermind that, there was a pretty yellow one over there. "Okay, think these are the last of them." She looked at the last batch of red yellow and blue fade away.

Suddenly, a girl shouted, "Not quite! I took some while you weren't looking! Hahahaha!"

"Be careful, Ki!" said the sexy woman beside the girl. They stood a decent distance from Edge and Lei Lei, and were also SD.

Edge muttered, "Oh no... Not them..."

What were Chikara Kachi characters doing here, anyway?!

Lei Lei responded to these strangers as well. "I think I saw you two before...wait a second."

The Other knew pretty well. And Jennifer wasn't happy at all. "What the...?" Oooh yes, she had to restrain herself before saying a word she'd regret later!

"They're anime characters... Where are we, anyway?" Edge thought aloud again.

In the normal, non-SD world, Gan watched on, too. He shuddered from the bad bad memory of the last time he had watched that show.

"Marget-chamaaaaaaaa!" Ki squealed.

"Oh!" Illumination daaaawned. "Those are the two cousins from the Television show Jennifer showed me last time!"

Marget couldn't restrain her lust any longer. With a powerful scream of "MY LOVE!", she plunged her lips straight into the overpowered kindergarten schoolgirl.

"Or not..." Lei Lei expressed. Shocked, obviously.

Ki broke the kiss momentarily, shouting, "SUPER TONGUE ACTION!" She then kissed Marget again, presumably with... Super Tongue Action.

Edge felt sick to his stomach. "Erk... Hey, you, you do know that she took some of the gems, right?" he called out to Lei Lei.

"Hey, yeah!" Her resolve regained strength. "Give us the gems!"

Ki, who knew how to make out with an older scantily clad woman way too good to not be considered disturbing, released her lips to shout out "Never!" Not bearing to part with Marget, she resumed straight after.

So much for the good approach. "What do we dooo?" Lei Lei had a strange expression on her face. This world was getting way too kooky now.

Edge knew only one solution to this sort of problem.

"Beat them up, of course!"

Always one to jump head first, Lei Lei released one of those deadly knives. "OK!!"

Ki, being an overpowered little kindergarten girl and all, responded to that puny little threat by unleashing an obscenely innapropriate (not to mention wholly un-PC) name for a move. "WHAT?!" She stopped the knife dead in it's track. "HIROSHIMA!!!!!!!"

FEAR the wrath of the angry Ki! The fireball chased Lei Lei around, who grew those nine hundred and ninety nine legs once more. "Bad idea bad idea bad ideaaaaa!"

Well, if Ki could release the Little Boy, then Edge could release the Fat Man.

"NAGASAKIIIIIIIIIII!" he cried out, leaping into the air and swooping down upon Ki, his knife extended.

If Edge could hear the announcers, he would have heard that the name of that move was a "Low Blow", mid-air modification, despite the fact that it never hit the groin. But he didn't, so there.

Marget refused to watch her darling chama get defeated! Especially not by... "A MAN?!?!?!" Lightning quick, she met the silly species of the testosterone demon and tackled him.

Lei Lei, always a Good Samaritan, tried to stop this vicious attack. "Heeeey!" She threw another cannonball, this time on purpose. The intended target was that scary lady.

Great. Not only was he flat on his back, getting the crap pummeled out of him, but a cannonball was coming his way.

FUCK, THAT HURT! At least the whore got away from him, though.

"Lei... Lei..." he choked out. "Use the Freud, Lei Lei..."

With that, he fell unconscious.

"Use the Freud?" The name sounded familiar (for it is a sacred name in the collective unconscious of the world!!!!) Intuatively, or by some mysterious higher power type, she knew. "Umm...this?"

She unleashed the knife.

A mysterious voice descending from the heavens (no burshing bushes, though) called out, "STAB THEM! FOR THEY CAN ONLY BE DEFEATED WITH ZEE PUREST FREUD!"

"Huh? Sure thing!" Lei Lei complied.

Lin Lin, being a silent witness for so far, simply had to protest. "I wish you'd stop immediately doing what anyone says."

"But aren't big booming voices always supposed to appear at the truest moment of despair to help us overcome?" The irrefutable argument. "Besides, I think it's working..."

The knife hurt Marget! No! "Ahhhhh!" she screamed, keeling over.

No! Ki's eyes grew wild as her lover fell! "To home with you all!" she shouted, sending Lei Lei and the still-unconscious Edge back to the arena... which was not home. Oh well.

"And... We have ourselves a winner!" Hiro yelled. "Lei Lei! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

The crowd burst into wild shouts and applause. Indeed, the right girl had won.

"Rah," Dai said.

"Hmph," Hyo mumbled. "Not as impressive as my ravioli..."

Lei Lei joined in the cheering. Jennifer offered a congratuatory short (emphasis on short) speech. "You did it!! Score one for Vampire Princess Lei Lei!!"

"Umm... wasn't it Demonic Zombie Lady Lei Lei?"

She blinked. "What did I just say?"

"Vampire Princess..." Lei Lei trailed off.

"Oh. It's that darn Anime Vision, now I can't get shows out of my mind!" Oh wait, probably not a bad thing.

Lei Lei, not knowing what to say exactly, just chose a favorite retalation of Lydia's. "Oookay. So anyway."

The camera panned away from Lei Lei and her defeated opponent, who was being taken away by the medics to get proper treatment, and back to the announcers' table.

"So now you've seen it, the ultimate epic battle between living and dead!!" Hiro screamed.

"It was in a video game..." Dai rolled her eyes.

"But what an amazing video game it was!"

"Can't you at least get your symbolic nonsense straight?"

"Be nice! We are in Hyo's presence!"

"I must be off now, fair citizens!" Hyo announced. "But remember! Chef Imawano-brand ravioli!" He took off the headset and randomly flew away again.

Dai watched him go before saying, "Is he still your hero?"

"YES!!!" Hiro shouted in a most fanboyish manner, much to Dai's chagrin. She sighed, wondering when the next match would begin so Hiro would forget all about Hyo, instead going apeshit over whatever else happened.