Sakura Yugure jogged to the ring in the wake of the cheers for the Juli/Yun match. {That was a good match,} she thought, {even if it was a bit wierd seeing a DOLL and one of my fellow Liberators of Jokuzetsu being so... friendly.} She sighed. {And now I have a 'mystery opponent.' I just hope I'll get a good fight out of this.}

Up in the announcer's booth, Hiro took note of the approaching girl. "ANNND Dark Sakura-"

Sakura's glare at *that* nickname was enough to stop even Hiro, and Dai smoothly took over. "...ahem. Sakura Yugure seems to be impatient for her match, so let's move right along, eh folks?" Covering the mike, the more sensible announcer whispered to Hiro, "When are you going to learn that calling her 'Dark' Sakura goes over about as well as calling the Lovely Angels the 'Dirty Pair?'"

Hiro shook his head, finally shaking off the affects of the glare Sakura had fixed him with.

(No, not *that* kind of 'fixed.' Perverts.)

"ANNNNYWAY, she's scheduled to meet a Mystery Opponent in this match to keep things fair and prevent her from having a bye. It should be noted, folks, even though her opponent isn't part of the tournament proper, a loss is still a loss! She'll have to be careful, 'cause I've had a look at the draw sheet, and the first Mystery Opponent is a real doozy, even for her - maybe *especially* for her!"

{Uh-oh, I wonder who it is?} Sakura thought. {Maybe Akuma? Cyber-Akuma? Bison? ...naah, Bison was part of the tourney... then who?}

Hiro, never one to stand on ceremony, pushed a button. "LET'S GO! With the flip of a switch, we're beaming Sakura over to the battleground where her foe awaits! This'll be a real barn-burner, folks, so watch the DimensionCam!!"

"Barn-burner? But Chun-Li's not involved in this match, Hiro," Dai protested.

Hiro facepalmed. "*Work* with me, Dai!"

--A Cave on A Mysterious Island--

Sakura materialized in a place that was far too familiar to her. {Aw, *nuts,* it's Akuma's cave!} she pouted. {Remedial Final Shin Shotokan Exam, here I come. I'm going to get those organizers for this.}

Somehow, Hiro's voice could still be heard. {Oh, *that'll* tick off Akuma to no end,} Sakura giggled to herself, then shook her head and paid attention, just in case Hiro said something important.

He was just winding up. "...so get ready for the battle of the Satsu Dopplegangers!!"

{Satsu... but Akuma's *not* a doppleganger!!} Sakura thought, then sensed a presence behind her and whirled.

As he finished Ashura Warping in, Evil Ryu scowled and sighed. "They promise me a real fight, then send... *Kasugano..?*" he growled.

Insulted, Sakura took up a stance. "Oi, you twit. Can't you feel it? I'm no more Sakura Kasugano than you are Ryu Hoshi!"

Evil Ryu, caught by surprised. "What...?" Closing his eyes for a moment, he concentrated, and Sakura felt his senses wash over her like a breeze.

{OK, this is it,} she thought, digging her rear foot in a bit more solidly. {The second he figures out what I am, all heck's out for noon.} Setting her stance more firmly, she waited, ready for anything.

"You... you are Kasugano's dark side? Unleashed??" Evil Ryu asked, seeming to hold his breath waiting for confirmation. Sakura nodded.

And nearly facefaulted at his reaction. "OH, I'M SO HAPPY!!" he cried, leaping in to - embrace her??

{What the HELL??} Sakura thought, caught totally offguard.

--The ClashDome--

Hiro's jaw had dropped. Heck, *Dai's* jaw had dropped.

Silence reigned throughout the building, only to be transformed into the thunder of 50,000 facefaults at Evil Ryu's next words.

--Akuma's Cave--

Evil Ryu, tears actually streaming down his face, was *hugging* Dark Sakura. "FINALLY! THE MERCILESS GODS HAVE TAKEN PITY ON ME AND SENT ME A WOMAN WHO CAN *UNDERSTAND!!*"

"WHAT!?" Sakura screeched.

"AT LONG, LONG LAST! WE'LL LIVE TOGETHER ON SOME BARREN ISLAND OF OUR OWN, AND RAISE LITTLE SATSULINGS, AND EVEN GO OFF ON FAMILY KILLING SPREES!!"

Enough, in this case, was a great deal too much. "Get your hands off me, you *pervert!*" Sakura yelled, headbutting Evil Ryu in the temple and shoving him away.

Evil Ryu's smile was, if anything, larger than before, even if his voice was softer. "And lo, she even understands the sweet pain of combat!! Oh, little flower of my dreams, come into my arms-"

Even as she threw him across the cave, a small part of Sakura's mind took the time to snicker at the irony. After all, hadn't she spent *years* trying to get the real Ryu to say things like that to her?

Evil Ryu crashed into the wall, and Sakura wiped her brow in relief. "Whew. *That* was weird even by this tourney's standards, and that says something-"

She cut off as the ~ffzwhaww~ of the Ashura Warp began behind her. Spinning around, she saw Evil Ryu's body vanish from where it had been and reappear right in front of her, arms outstrecthed for another hug, and the tears - apparently of joy - now rivaled anything she'd ever seen Dan produce. "Such wonder! Such skill! Such rapture! Truly a match made in-"

That was as far as he got before Sakura shrieked and blasted him with a Hadoken, Satsu fires included, and he went down in flames. More cautious now, Sakura backed away carefully, pausing a few feet back.

Sure enough, up he bounded again. "And her tap to the Satsu is so strong and firm! Just like her-"

"SHUT UP! SHUN-PU-KYAKU!" Sakura yelled in outrage, not wanting to find out what his comparison was before clocking him with all three hits of her underpowered Hurricane Kick, then booting his airborne body away from her with a roundhouse power-kick. He flew, tumbled, and briefly lay still.

But only briefly. "And so innovative! Adapting the shortcomings of her techniques into advantages! Ah, come into my arms," he called, running towards her again.

*This* time he got the uppercut. "SHO-OH-KEN!"

Seven hits and a short flight later, he cracked his head against the roof of the cave and fell back down as a mildly panicked Sakura hyperventilated. "Okay... okay... that's a throw, two specials, and a roundhouse kick. He *can't* have much life left, I just have to keep calm... keep calm..."

Then Evil Ryu bounded to his feet yet again, flipping forwards to land right beside her, his eyes literally heart-shaped with adoration, and 'calm' went right out the window.

"EEEK! HARU-ICHIBAN!"

The rising helicopter kick Super sent *both* fighters into the cave roof this time, and Sakura staggered as she came down. Evil Ryu, his head briefly imbedded into the cave roof, fell a moment later.

Sakura was hyperventilating again. "Haah... haah... haah... calm... keep calm... it's nearly over, it's *got* to be nearly over..."

"Such wounds are nothing before my adoration! SAKURA-CHAN!!" Evil Ryu cried, once again flipping to his feet, seeming none the worse for wear and running towards her with open arms.

A panicked Sakura nearly hit him with the Shun Goku Satsu before remembering that using *that* move, with all the evil energy in the two of them, would likely blow up the island and her with it. She considered it briefly anyway, but aborted it, instead choosing a less holocaustian Super.

"Just GO DOWN already!! MIDARE-ZAKURA!!"

Twenty-four hits and one uppercut later, Evil Ryu went down, in flames, again. By now thoroughly unnerved, Sakura was already backing away from the crash site, and thus had a clear field of fire when the love-crazed destroyer rebounded yet again.

"For my love! I FIGHT ON!"

"No way, no how, never, and I DON'T LIKE YOU! SHINKUU!! HA! DO! *KEN!!!*"

'Less holocaustian' was now debatable, as the large beam of energy laid utter waste to Akuma's cave. The mountain hideaway now sported an extra exit, for which Sakura was slinking as fast as her fatigue and fear would allow. {Dammit, I'm nearly out of energy again!} she thought, and shivered. Hard. {I don't know what to do if he's not down for the count this time...!}

A rock fell, landing on the beam-smoothed floor with a 'tak!'

Sakura, who was overcome with the jitters, freaked out at the sound and discovered that yes, she *did* know what she was going to do. In the figurative sense, she was going to Run Like Hell.

In the literal sense, she reflexively Ashura Warped. The DimensionCam picked her up after a few moments on the slopes of Mount Fuji, panting in panic reaction and her eyes wide with terror.

Back in the cave, on the far side of the blasted area from where the rock fell, Evil Ryu pushed a slab of stone off of himself and looked around. "Sakura- chaaaaan?" he called plaintively, then sniffled and began to bawl. "WAAAAH! She's gone and now I'm all alone again with no love in my liiiife!!"

--The ClashDome--

"Um, Dai?" Hiro asked.

"What?" Dai responded.

"How, exactly, do we *call* this one??" the hyperactive one inquired.

Dai's reply was to pull out a rulebook and scan through the pages. "Hmm. outside interference, time limits, destruction of the world and/or node is a technical foul... ah! Ring outs. Hmm."

"Well?? What does it SAY!?" Hiro asked, his nonexistent patience reaching its nonexistent limit.

"Any fighters who leave their combat area while their opponents are still conscious or otherwise able to fight forfeit the match," Dai read from the book. "Sakura Yugure loses by forfeit."

There might have been some booing if the whole arena hadn't been in shock.

For her part, Sakura Yugure didn't much care, still sitting on the slope of Mount Fuji where she had done a lot of her thinking recently.

{I can now say I have seen true horror... an obsessive stalking Satsu... EWWWW!!}