The spacious quarters of the men's locker room were occupied by few occupants. Most of the competitors tended to avoid one another, possibly nervous about starting a fight outside of the ring. One man in particular sat on a bench, dressed only in a pair of bright pink pants and with a small towel draped over his neck. His head was bowed low, his elbows and knees seemingly locked together, he seemed to ignore the black and pink shorts laid out just to his right. The man's breathing deepened, his eyes closed, and he began to meditate.

The moment of profound silence was destroyed by the sounds of running feet, girly wails, and a mad scrambling for towels.

"DAN! DAN!" shouted Ran, running through a few halls of barely covered and rightly embarrassed guys. Stupid guard! Who says she couldn't come in here!? Locating the splotch of pastel that indicated her brothers presence, she quickly assaulted him with her barrage of good news. "You won the coin toss!"

A light smirk crossed Dan's face. He rose slowly, his eyes rising to face the heavens, or at least the fluorescent lighting above. "Do you realize what this means!?"

"Uh, yeah?" said Ran. If she hadn't known, why would she have bothered running down here? "You get to choose the arena, don't you? By the way, your match is up next."

"Then, let us be off!" shouted the now-enthused brother, running down the hall and turning out the door.

"Dan, wait! You forgot your shirt!" hollered Ran, running after him with his pink and black shirts in hand. She stopped short of the door, and was about to introduce herself to a well-built Brazilian fighter in a yellow gi, but her efforts were halted as her brothers hand shot back through the doorway and hauled her with through via her jacket.

Sean blinked. What was that about?

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, our next competitors are about to enter the ring!" Hiro shouted into the mike. "Our first challenger, hailing from Taiyo, Japan, he's the Flaring Gang-Buster, The Saikyo Psycho, give it up for Mega Dan X himself, DAN HIBIKI!"

Several of the audience sections started cheering and waving about little pink flags as Dan stepped out into the arena. Having reclaimed the rest of his outfit from his dear sister, the fully-attired Saikyo-Ryuu practitioner did a few shadow punches and rolls for the audience.

Dan pranced around the ring, indulging in a little showmanship since his opponent had yet to show. It was then that he noticed the occupants of the front row. The Dolls, Shidoshi-yurei, Psycho Sakura and Alice sat in various civilian guises. Their collective gaze nearly bore a hole right through the pink-gied defender of the meek. Dan was particularly spooked when Alice mouthed out the words to him, "Bison's MINE," incidentally revealing rows of needle-like teeth.

"Eyes, horrible staring eyes, I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid!" Dan said to himself as he tried to ignore the collection of irate females in the front row. Flashing his Hibiki Smile (A weapon deemed illegal in three different nodes due to copyright infringement committed on a Mr. Kapwan), the smiling smiter of Mcdonalds fiends the world over continued with his cocky show.

"It should also be noted Dan won this rounds coin toss, so he gets to choose where he and his opponent will be fighting!" said Ran, mysteriously appearing behind Hiro.

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?" Hiro yelled in surprise, moments before being chucked out the announcers window by the younger Hibiki.

"I'm a guest announcer today. Bye bye Hiro!" she giggled.

"Well, it's a pleasure to have you here, Miss Hibiki," said Dai.

"And, I'm told Dan's opponent is on his way. It's the one, the only, Mary Bison!" shouted Ran.

Even as the crowd erupted into gales of laughter, Ran felt a small explosion in the back of her skull as someone clubbed it with a 2X4. Trying to get the ringing in her ears to stop, Ran hardly noticed another figure hurl the drooling Dai out of the same window her buddy had traveled through just moments before.

Dressed in a midriff baring tank top and bicycle shorts, Cammy White, Top Doll of Shadoloo drew the stares of practically all the men in the audience (and a few of the women too, but that's a subject we won't touch on); and woe to those who had brought feminine company to the fight.

Waving to the audience, Cammy took her seat next to the groaning Hibiki. "And today, this pathetic, sniveling worm will face the might of the Lord of Shadoloo, the one, the only, M BISON!"

Ran grumbled "Rrrright." Three guesses who todays Special Friend was.

Smoke began spewing from concealed spots in the arena floor, obscuring Dan's vision. Coughing on the acrid obfuscation, Dan
staggered to his corner for some fresh air.

As the smoke cleared, the crowd could see M Bison in all of his regal glory standing proudly in the center of the ring. Beside him was Rose, High Lady of Shadoloo in a most fetching cocktail dress.

"And tonight, for all of you Shadoloo sports fans, we have a special treat. Announcing our very special guest referee, *Rose*." Cammy said with as much enthusiasm as a roadkill victim staring down an eighteen wheeler. The name of the High Lady was spoken with a particular loathing, one that was usually reserved for lawyers and IRS agents.

Rose, Dan and Bison gathered in the center of the ring as Rose read to them the rules of the fight from a Shadoloo notepad
(printed on recycled paper, courtesy of Olvere). "Okay gentlemen, no biting, no scratching and no hitting below the belt." she threw a suspicious look to Dan on that point. "We were warned about you from one of our employees, Mister Hibiki.

Dan let a look of confusion obscure his features. Why would anyone worry about a proud Saikyo-Ryuu warrior hitting below the belt? Pointing an imperious finger at Bison, Rose continued, "and no mindwipes! I find them *very unsportsman-like*."

M Bison, hated arch-nemesis of heroes everywhere simply smiled sheepishly and replied, "yes dear."

"HAH! I guess we now all know who wears the pants in Shadoloo High Command!" Ran crowed. Her attention was suddenly averted to a shrill scraping sound. Ran turned to see her unwanted co-presenter tear her table apart with her bare hands. The solid, *metal* table. The younger Hibiki wisely inched her chair away from the seething blonde.

Thinking quickly, Ran addressed the wild White girl when the audience couldn't hear her. "It's pretty funny how that hag Rose read those rules when it probably wouldn't even matter in this match, eh? Heh, eheheh...." This seemed to calm the angry girl down, and she settled back into her seat and looked back to the fight with a satisfied smirk on her face.

Ran sat down, only to be the victim of another wild headache, but this came not from 2X4 origins, but from psychic ones, as the voice of the purple haired woman wound it's way into her head. "You dare mock me!?"

"Get outta my head, you Mills Lane wannabe!" Ran shouted, whacking herself with a mallet she found by her seat.

Bison and Dan stood only a foot apart, the Saikyo Psycho against the Master of Psycho Power. Rose, after rubbing her  forehead a few times, chopped her hand brusquely between them and said in a surprisingly baritone voice, "ROUND ONE, FIGHT!"

M Bison simply waved his hand in front of Dan's face, intoning in a casual voice, "I'm not the one you're looking for."

Dan stood there mesmerized, hands hanging limply by his sides. "He's not the one I'm looking f-ouch!" Rubbing his sore head,
he roared at his sister, "Hey, what was that for?" Ran, with her new favorite weapon in hand, kept the trans-dimensional mallet she had just whacked her brother with and pointed at his opponent who was tapping his foot in a posture of long-suffering patience.

With a soft "Mwahahaha..." Bison was across the ring in an instant, and hurtling towards Dan with a powered up Psycho Crusher. Dan had just enough time to let out a pain-expectant "Eep!" before both contestants disappeared in a flash of light.

Ran sighed in her announcers booth. "Bison has about as much patience as my brother." This prompted another menacing look of death from Cammy. "What'd I say??"

"My Lord Bison has all the patience of a million Ghandi's!" She shrieked. Ran felt that, if she survived, she would have to kill security for letting this psycho woman in the booth. Letting a calm, rational, well-balanced individual like herself was alright, but pigtail girl was too much.

Dan thanked whatever gods may be in the area for not making him land on his head. Unfortunately, when he found what he was sitting on, he was a lot less thankful. The plunger wound back with him on it, and before the pink-clad warrior could grab on to the springs, he found himself shot out the tunnel and onto the board. Moments later, he was nearly rammed into by the still-Psycho Crushering Bison, who flew out the same tunnel.

Disorienting neon lights and loud carnival music filled the Saikyo Ryuu practitioner's ears, as he slipped on his back all over the bizarre game bored. The glass ceiling had nothing but a huge white roof visible above it, and a backboard for the pinball arena he was now in was the only other visible structure.

However, the cieling and backboard were of little concern to him at the moment, as he found himself heading for an ominous black hole at the end of the board. His hands and feet scraped for purchase on the metal floor, scratching the tiniest white lines in the painted caricatures of rides and carnival patrons adorning it. Nothing worked, however, as he was still slipping towards the black hole.

Worse still, as Dan looked behind him, he saw Bison standing proudly, though he was also slipping. Unlike the flailing pink wonder, the leader of Shadaloo was using the slick surface to his advantage, preparing to kick Dan in the head. And kick he did, with shining blue Psycho power backing him up.

"BOOT TO THE HEAD!" shouted Ran, after which she realized just who'd done the booting. "CRAP!" Quickly sweeping off the messy contents of the announcers table (what was left of it, anyway), she came upon a black device with a red button on it. Praying she had the correct controller, she smashed down her thumb on the button.

Dan didn't like being kicked in the head. It hurt, made his ears ring, and more than likely screwed up his face a bit. Being kicked by a person was bad enough, but it seemed like the damn gameboard was trying to attack him now! The left flipper came up, and promptly lauched Dan back into the play area. Bison, however, wasn't lucky enough to have Cammy find her flipper button in time, and slid into the murky depths of the hole.

"You....you....you dare send my Lord Bison into the loser area!? You will be punished!" screeched Cammy. Whacking her with the mallet, Ran found that it was a surprisingly fun weapon as Cammys head smashed into the wall. Unfortunately, the force of her impact knocked Cammys own controller into her hand. Cammy lifted herself up, and the two faced each other. One flipper each. They turned back to the action at hand, Bison with one life (or ball, depending on how willing you are to take a barrage of dirty innuendo) left, Dan with two.

With another whoosh of Psycho Crushering power, the red-clad leader of Shadaloo sprang from spring-loaded origins back into play. He barely missed Dan, who slammed into a wall and fell right back towards the flippers. Luck was with him as he fell towards the left flipper again, which rocketed him into a small niche of the gameboards walls. Before getting completely aware of his surroundings (and worse, before his bonus points were added!) the pink one was grabbed by the collar and yanked out of the hole, and thrown down by the incredibly EVIL Bison.

"Oh crap, hold on, Dan!" Came a voice from behind him. Looking up, Dan saw his sisters concerned face on the neon backboard separated from him via the glass cieling. Dan landed on a flipper, and tried scratching away for purchase as Ran frantically mashed her button. "No! Wrong one!" she remarked as only flipper opposite of Dans was floundering wildly.

"Hah! I guess that talentless bum can't hold out long at all against the might power of M. Bison!" came the evil British voice of Cammy, her scarred features pushing Ran out of the way. Dan saw Bison's leering face as he too fell towards Dan, but was sent laughing back into the game courtesy of Cammy's flipper. As Dan fell into the darkness of the Black Hole, he heard the pigtailed girl laugh and a few growls from his irate sister.

Ran decided that she had enough of the preppy, oh-so-sexy blonde cheering on when her brother got pounded. Grabbing one
of Cammy's pigtails, Ran gave it a hard yank and had the satisfaction of seeing the Doll fall flat on her face.

Cammy spat out a gobblet of blood and kippuped to her feet. With a savage, blood-stained grin she jumped and booted Ran in
the head.

"BOOT TO THE HEAD!" hollered every MSTer in the audience for no apparent reason.

Jumping on the supine, stunned Ran, the pair began biting, scratching and clawing; all the mores of martial arts and fighting fairly forgotten. The audience swung its attention to the feuding presenters. A catfight was way more interesting than the match.

With a quick spring, the pink one was launched back into the match, this time with a plan. Former opponents would recognize his skill at rolling, which he was about to display. "Be the ball, Dan, be the ball..." he murmured. His launch trajectory sent him rolling directly into a triad of round bumpers, and, maneuvering his body with well placed tucks and shifts, he spun around wildly in between all three. The blaring noises displayed his score. He would get an extra life if this kept up!

Dingadingadinga"whoa...dizzifying..."dingadingadinga....

"I suggest you take notice of your dear sisters predicament." came the voice of Shadaloo's leader. Dan slid to a halt, holding on the bumper to keep from flying downward. Bison was hovering nearby, watching the backboard screen. Dan looked as well, and saw Cammy and his sister locked in a fight of their own.

"Think their going to stop fighting?" asked the pink wonder.

"I doubt it. Cammy sure won't."

"Maybe the ref'll stop them?" to answer Dan's question, Madam Rose walked up and attempted to pull the two apart. She promptly received a double-punch to the face and went flying.

"Ouch..." said Dan. Bison merely grunted in agreement. Putting their own battle on hold, the two took a seat on the bumper Dan was holding onto. The way Bison lifted Dan and helped him up with one arm made the Saikyo-Ryuu practitioner glad he'd picked a pinball battle instead of fisticuffs. The fight was getting dangerously close to spilling into the audience. More yanking, pulling, and tearing of clothing had ensued. Dan thanked Ran's penguin doll, just for the heck of it, that she had worn her school uniform. Cammy might soon get arrested for indecent exposure, but considering the crazies running this tourney, he doubted it.

"Nacho?"

"Huh?" Dan looked to his right, to the seated Bison beside him. The Bison who was, for no readily identifiable reason, munching nachos and drinking from a hat that had two beer cans in it with a small length of tubing leading to his mouth. Where the hell did he hide this stuff!? "Umm....no thank you."

The two girls had armlocked, both pushing with all their might to pin the other against a wall or something. Cammy, her enhanced Doll muscle being put to good use, was winning. Ran began to teeter over the frame for the announcers window, into the freakishly incubi-looking audience below. With a hard knee to the gut, Cammy went backward, and Ran gave chase!

"She's not bad..." remarked Bison.

"Yes. Though if she would actually learn a formal martial art, she'd be a little better off, I think."

"Probably. Hot dog?"

"No thanks."

Cammy tried to spin out of the way of Ran's stomach-tackle, but wasn't fast enough. As a result, both girls went rolling until they hit the opposite wall. Ran, who was on top, was shoved off of the irate Doll who stood quickly, and tried to stomp the poor reporter to death.

Unseen to the audience, the combatants, or the two pinball fighters, the mysterious figure in the blue cowboy hat locked the door to the announcers booth. Might as well try to contain the damage.

"Lemme ask you something..." Dan began.

"Hmm?" hummed Bison, taking another sip of his beer.

"Why do you have your girl paint lighting on her legs like that?" he asked. The question had been gestating in his mind since he saw Cammy and the other Dolls managing concession stands during the earlier blocks.

"Oh, that. It's a long story, has to do with an employee named Irvine, about how lighting pierces and something about Freud. I never really listened to him."

"Ah, I see..."

"Beer?"

"Nah, I don't drink."

The girls stood before each other, a rare moment of regrouping called for by both of them. That moment was quickly shattered by several slaps from both sides and callings of many interesting names.

"Bitch!" *SLAP*

"Two-bit army whore!" retorted Ran, flexing her Hibiki taunting knowledge learned from Dan. *SLAP*

"Hack Enquirer wannabe!" *SLAP*

Ran's eyes turned bright red, which immediatley caused Lina Inverse to mistake her for Shabranigdo and try to cast the Giga Slave. It took audience sections B through N and several of the eliminated competitors to stop her. While that was happening, they missed Ran's final attack.

"SUPER PSUEDO GADOKEN CHI-LESS SLAP PUNCH OF JUSTICE-FILLED BURNING VIGOR!"

When Cammy tried to recover from the attack name alone, she met with a hard slap upside the forehead and went tumbling out into the audience. She landed on Aurora, who had been released to see her Lord Bison fight, but she suddenly had something more important on her mind.

"Cammy! DO YOU NOT FEAR!!!???"

Dan gawked. That girl was far more brutal than he remembered. The feed was quickly cut and the two fighters were left alone.

"I guess we have to start up again?" he asked, looking back to the red-clad Evil Leader. The red-clad Evil Leader who just stared back and grinned in a very Evil Leader-esque manner.

"What's so funny?"

"Psycho Belch."

"Huh?"

"BUUUUUUUUUAAAAAARRRRRP!"

"Good...lord...that's.....foul...." Dan muttered as he fell back and slid into the black hole, unconscious.

Ran looked back to the giant viewscreen. They were just about to cut back to the fight between Dan and Mary. Heheh, Mary. What she saw, however, was her brother sliding silently into the black hole, and thus losing the match.

"Well...crap. I guess Bison wins, folks."

The audience was cheering when the combatants returned. Dan was still unconscious, and Bison had lost the beer hat and snacks.

Ran ran down, and with the help of the now-recovered Aurora, picked up her brother and carried him back to the locker room. Bison readily received the applause of all the people, which promptly cut off the second Ran left the area. The only ones still clapping were the Shadaloo personnel still present.

Bison pouted. Why couldn't he get cheers too!?