The all-too-familiar voice of the all-to-familiar announcer Hiro shattered the eardrums of those present in the Clashdome, "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CLASHDOME! WELCOME TO YET ANOTHER VERY EXCITING ADVENTURE IN BONDAGE AND S&M!!!"

 The audiences cheers and shouts were replaced with silence. Dead silence. Well, that and the sound of crickets chirping away.

 "What're you talking about?" Dai asked with perplexity as she swatted a cricket with a fly-swatter.

 Hiro looked down at his fellow announcer, "Huh? Oh, wrong script! Ahem WELCOME TO YET ANOTHER ROUND OF THE DARKFIGHTER TOURNAMENT!!!"

 The passive co-announcer waved a little blue flag, "Wheee. And today we have...how the hell did we get high schoolers in here? Isn't that illegal? I think we should get some waivers or something before we..."

 "DON'T MIND HIM, FOLKS! CAN'T YOU JUST FEEL THE TENSION IN THE AIR? THE ULTIMATE BATTLE CONTINUES TODAY IN.."

 Dai, in an un-usual turn of events, decided to try and speak over Hiro, "No, no seriously. We could get sued here. Lemme call my lawyer and..."

 "BLOCK A, MATCH. KUROW KIRISHIMA VS. CHUN LIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!"

 At one end of the Clashdome, where several spotlights just so happened to be shining, a young woman in all blue stepped into the arena, "OH MY GOD, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! HERE SHE COMES, THE INTERPOL AGENT WITH AN ATTITIUDE...CHUN LI XIANG!!!"

 Dai realized it was futile to try and follow anything legal in the Darkfighter world and went back to her announcing, "Chun Li is one of the most well respected employees at Interpol, however I heard rumors that she recently got suspended..."

 "Ugh, do they have to cheer so loudly?" Chun muttered to herself as she covered her ears and looked around at her fans.

 "AND IN THE LEFT CORNER, COMING TO YOU STRAIT FROM TOKYO, JAPAN - THE DARKSIDE ASSASSIN KUROW KIRISHIMA!!!!!!!"

 "Kurow is the son of the orchestral Kirishima clan of hit men. Unlike the rest of his family, he chooses to put his instrument aside and fight with steel claws..."

 Kurow walked out into the dome in all his full-blown evil glory. He looked around the audience for his family, and noticed that only Yurika and Momo were cheering for him. The rest seemed to be cheering for that stupid, over-rated chick. "Bloody hell..." he murmured as he took out his flute and began playing a soothing melody.

 Just as soon as the last note was played, his sound was replaced by another. That of the ranting audience, "YEAAAAAAAAAAH! Ku-ROW! Ku-ROW! Ku-ROW!"

 Kirishima waved smugly, "It's good to be me."

 "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS -INTENSE-! I WONDER WHAT THESE TWO BRILLIANT FIGHTERS HAVE TO SAY TO EACH OTHER BEFORE THEIR DESTRUCTIVE DUEL!!!"

 A hush fell over the crowd as they awaited the exchange of words between the two fighters in great anticipation. The two stared blankly at each other during the hush, until they simultaneously said... "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

 The two of them were both literally on the ground laughing hysterically, as if they had just watched a cheesy 80's horror-flick.

 "Huh?" was all Dai could manage to peep out at this spectacle. This was certainly a rarity.

 Kurow pointed a clawed finger at his opponent with tears streaming down his face, "BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god! I've been transported into Mortal Kombat: The Movie!!!!!"

 Chun Li was laughing too hard to even point her finger, "BWAHAHAHA! What is this?? Friday the 13th??"

 The assassin looked down at his leather outfit, "Hey! I'll have you know that this is stylin' club wear! At least I'm young enough to still pull of leather."

 "Excuse me?" the Interpol agent's laughing ceased and her eyes burned a fiery rage. "Are you implying that I'm...OLD? Quite frankly, you look like some sort of freaky porn star or something. What's with your complexion? Haven't you ever heard of tanning before?"

 "I'm not the one trying to flash half the arena. You're like the schoolgirl fetish without the schoolgirl! And where DID you get those spiked bracelets? Has the eighties punk revival come and gone, or did you just never LEAVE? You're just jealous of those of us with naturally exotic features."

 "Well, maybe if you were passed puberty yet you'd realize that the Sex Pistols are the greatest band ever to grace the stage!"

 "Sex WHO? And you said I was into porno...." the assassin began twirling his flute around absent-mindedly.

 "BWAHAHA! Oh you have got to be kidding! You honestly have never heard of the Sex Pistols? Come on...'I am the anti-christ-ah! I am the anarchist-ah! Don't know what I want but I know how to get it...' doesn't ring a bell?"

 "Hey.. shut up! I don't need your stupid song. I have a classical education. Listen to some fucking Bach!"

 "Psh! Classical's for pussies, that's what I say."

 The audience, who had grown quite restless in watching to people just argue back and forth, got...well, even more restless. Verbally restless, "Hey! What's going on here? FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

 The two fighters however, ignored them and continued bashing each other, "Pussy!?! You undereducated bimbo..." Kurow looked up at the audience. "What the hell's your problem?"

 Ms. Li folded her arms across her chest and smirked, "What? Can't talk like a man? Geez, you probably punch like a girl too. Look, you've even got claws so you don't have to punch! Hahaha!"

 "Booooooooo! This sucks! We wanna see a fight! Give us our money back!!" the audience at this point began throwing various food items and beverage containers down into the arena. This is what's known commonly as; a bad sign.

 Chun looked around at the crowd, "Hmph, stupid people. Why do people suck so much?"

 Kurow didn't notice Chun Li's remark and replied to her previous one, aghast with offense, "Ex-CUSE me? If anyone is impotent it's Interpol. Oh, wait, let me remember their last big Shadowloo catch.. oh, right, that WASN'T ONE. Or did you scare all the targets off with your freakishly large man-thighs?"

 The audience's jeering roared even louder, almost to the point where it was deafening.

 "MAN THIGHS!?!  Why you little..."

"AND THE MATCH IS BUILDING UP WITH A.. SPECTACULAR HEAT OF TENSION!!!!"

***

In the midst of the heat of tension there was a girl.

She was, if one were asked to describe her, a rather little girl.  Pink bows and ponytails - sugar, spice, and everything nice.  Somethign strait out of a commercial for FAO Schwarz, maybe, or the fairy princess in the school play. Sadly, if one were asked to describe her, one also might note a healthy amount of manic glee in the tarred depths of her eyes.

This was gonna be so so fun!!

None of the peoepl aroudn her appreciated evil, really, and that was okay, because Momo knew that she was way way smarter than these losers by lots.  Which is why it was going to be fun!  Kurow looked mad because they were shouting and booing, and when Kurow looked mad he tended to do funthings.  Like gutting people!  Or putting them in trances!  One day, she was going to be able to gut people too, and that would just be the coooooolest!

Momo Karuizawa leaned forward to get a better look at her mentor, and Manly Chinese Lady.

"Ugh, you know what? I'll deal with you later. First I'm going to take care of these clowns."  Manly Chinese Lady walked over the the audience.  She was such a loser poser. She looked like she wanted to be evil, and acted like she wanted to be evil, but she was really just some stupid lame wannabe with Interpol!   "Hey, assholes, why don't you all shut up?!"

And shwe was yelling at the audeince too, which meant she was yelling at Momo too, which was just mean.  Nyah. No wonder this fight was sooooo lame.  Kurow'd never fight someone like that.

"You know what?  I don't think these people appreciate us taking the time to put some light in their sad, miserable little lives..." although Kurow was right!  Momo'd known he was gonna come through.  Making Manly Woman suffer was fun, but really, with no blood this whole thing was just soooo boring.  Even if Yurika had bought her a coke.  Boredbored... all these peopel were bored too.  Shuffling and shouting.  Fighting fans were fun like that, even if they were so NOT as cute as her.

"AND THE FIGHTERS ARE.... jumping into the stands?"  the announcer said, while Kurow jumped like a big giant kitty into the stands, and the Manly Woman crashed like a stupid blue.. stupid person which wasn't nearly as cool in her loser retro outfit.

"You keep talking, I'll call security..."

Then Kurow and Cop Pig were puncing and slashing and even picking up chairs!  It was great.  That'd show those idiots to think they could possibly as cool are REAL evil people.  They didn't even know what real evil was!  Sitting all fat and lazy with their stupid loser popcorn when she, Momo Karuizawa, was trying to learn something from this tournament and...

Suddenly, she had an idea.

In the midst of the screaming there was a girl.  She was, if one were asked to describe her, a fairly mischevious girl.  Toothy malicious grin and out-of-place giggling and sneaking into a sheltered causeway while everyone else watched on in fascinated shock.  Sadly, if one were asked to describe her, one might also note that the devil wore an inordinate amount of cotton-candy pink.

Lips pursed, she pulled out a tennis ball.  Knowing what was going to happen on teh big screen suspended over them.  Waiting, just waiting, to do her role model proud.

And then, there it was in lights:

An Idiot Cop said, " Excuse me, Miss, I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me."

Then he grabbed that uncool jerk lady.  She seemed mad.  Showed her to try and look cool and evil when she was just a cop!  "What the? Hey, do you know who I am buster?! I'm a cop!!!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say."

Then they took Kurow too, but she'd been expecting that, and lamented the opportinuty to wave to him that everything was under control.  These wasses staring in the crowd were gonne have bigger things to think about than how mean they were about him having to fight some unresponsive, no-fighting loser.

"Hey!  Get the hell off me!  Yurik-kaaaaaaa..."

An aura beginning to surround her innocuous sports-equiptement, the girl with the pincess locks almost bounced with anticipatory glee.  Before lobbing several flaming tennis balls into the areas of the place that weren't full of people randomly and cunfusedly pucnhing each other anyways.  Those cops were gonna have to fight their ways out.  This was going to be so much FUN!

"RIOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTT!!"

Somewhere in the section to the left section,  an alabaster-haired young woman shook her head in her hands. Before she was forced - in self-defence, naturally - to knock out a man holding a plastic knife in an antirely inappropraite way over the head.

" Uh, um," the annoucer coughed, " LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT LOOKS AS IF WE'LL HAVE TO TURN TO OUR HANDY-DANDY BIG SCREEN TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IN THIS FIGHT!!

"Um..Hiro? Half of those people out there are unconcious at least."

***

You know what?  This was all her fault.

"You know what?  This is all your fault," Kurow Kirishima glared to his now-cellmate, the highly diappointing Strongest Woman in the World.  Stupid.. arrrg.  An event like this was just the way to get off this stupid 'Kill Hyo' detail Darkside had him on, and now this happens.  Great.  Just great.  And he hadn't even been able to make a dent in the crowd.  Locked up on some cell with an older woman.. god, Lucy was never gonna let him hear the end of this.  And... and...

These benches were hard!


"My fault?  How it is my fault?"  she responded, attempting to look comfortable on the crappy unhygenic prison funriture, and failing.  Now they were in clockup.  What if Lucy told Uncle Koji about this?  Or Yurika tbrought it up at... oh crap.  Just... crap. He was never gonna hear the end of this..

"You're a cop.  I'm an assassin," he explained, as if to a two year-old.  Maybe she'd taken too many blows to the head in these fighting things.  He'd have to get a helmet like that biker chick Yurika was slumming with.  "I'm supposed to resort to random acts of violence.  What's your excuse?  I mean, if you don't consider that hairstyle a crime..."

"Oh please, you were soiling your shorts for Carrie Fisher when Star Wars came out and you know it."

"Oh please,"  Kurow snorted, leaning back on the completely not comfortable bare wall.  "I wasn't born when Star Wars came out.  Your childhood crush was who, Fred Astaire?"

"You weren't born when Star Wars came out? Are you serious?!" she looked incredulous.  "Geez, maybe it's a good thing I ended up not hitting you, could've gotten child-abuse added to the list."

What the.. bah!  She just didn't know how to handle real talent.

"I'd say I had morals about hitting old ladies," Kurow leaned forwards, lightly sneering,  "but that would be hell on my image."

"Old ladies?! Oh, it's on now ghost-boy!"  And suddenly he wasn't doing much of anyhing, as the hag was punching him in the jaw.  Crap... oooooow.... fuck!

"Hey!  What the fuck happened to reading me my rights, you wench?"

"AND WE HAVE A WINNER!  FINALLY, THANK YOU GOD, WINNEEEEEEER! CHUN LI XIANG ADVANCES TO THE SECOND ROUND!"

Chin Li over him while Kurow found himself a boneless mass on the floor, the albino decided to make teh best of a bad situation.

"Kinky.  I wondered about those spiked bracelets..."

"Ugh.  Quiet, you."

"Kuroooooooow!  Get that manly woman off of you!  You're missing the tear gas!

-The End-