A mysterious caravan of six mysterious people, most of which were dressed in mysteriously funny clothes, looked up at the not-so-mysterious building known as the Clashdome. A stray wind blew from mysterious sources.

The effect would have been more mysterious had this taken place during night, but the fact they remained mysterious at around noon is pretty good, all things considered.

"So...they're here?" asked the red haired woman of the group.

"Uh huh." stated the large, bearded man next to her.

"Pretty big place..." stated a slightly effeminent-looking boy. The fourth member of their group gurgled either an agreement or a concern that he was going to dry out soon.

The second bearded man of the bunch put his hand on the hilt of his well-worn sword and nodded to the door. "Let's just go, we're wasting time."

The last man of them, in a military uniform of sorts, glanced nervously at the boy (who was ignoring him save for the occasional glare) and agreed, leading the way.

The other five nodded in agreement. Or it's possible they were ducking to avoid a low-flying Tuesday, but the exact reasons not important, because the action didn't hinder them from entering the Clashdome, which they did.

Everyone got that? Good, there's a test later.

You're probably wondering just *why* I'm in a stupid tourney like this. I could rant on and on for a few pages telling you exactly why I'm here and how I got here, but let's go with the abridged version, shall we?

"We've been invited to a combat tournament!" Anna announced cheerfully.

"Wow, who's fighting?" asked Calloway.

"Iggi!" Anna exclaimed, waking me from a very nice dream about sleeping.

"....Is she *always* like that?" Calloway asked Jack before Anna beaned him with a piece of toast.

And now, I'm here. Exciting, isn't it?

You guys already know about my last match, right? I wish I knew how in the hell Cuddles got here, though. I locked myself in my room since I saw her. But the good news is, Anna was with me.

"IggiIggiyouwonI'msoproudyou'resucharesourcefullittledoggiewantsomecoffeegum?" Anna, uh...verbalized. I wasn't concerned with just what to classify the sentence, I just wanted my gum.

"COMPETITOR IGGI, REPORT TO THE MAIN ARENA!" came the announcement. I made a note to bite that Hiro guy first chance I got.

"Oh, sorry Iggi, guess there's no time for gum." Anna said. I circled the mental note and added a sticker to it that said "DIE DIE DIE DIE HIRO!" to it.

So? I like coffee gum. Don't give me that stare.

I got the main gate, Anna following me until the doors opened before me. Bidding me goodbye, she ran to go get back to her seat.

"HERE HE COMES," Evil Stupid Bastard Hiro announced, "THE SAND DAWG, Aaarrgghh..."

I found that strange. I didn't remember changing my name to 'Aaarrgghh'.

I saw Evil Stupid Bastard Hiro attempt to fly out his window (how many times has he done that?) And land in the Industrial-Sized popcorn bag some blond man had. The blond guy mentioned something about escaping wrong death (or maybe long death, it was hard to hear), and started beating up Evil Stupid Bastard Hiro.

And lo, there was much wagging performed by my tail.

"Alright people," came the all-too-familiar voice of my friend, Billy, "We gonna try this without breaking y'all's eardrums, how's that sound?" Apparently, the crowd liked it.

"Aargh, how fair is this?!" Chun Li ranted. "The stupid DOG has its own announcer!!"

"Calm down, Chun," her fellow law-enforcer Charlie Nash urged. "You saw what he did to that DOLL, and she might be scatterbrained, but we both know she's got some power. You're going to need to be in good form to win this one."

"Well, yeah, but this is really getting on my nerves..." the firebrand Wu Shu fighter complained.

Charlie raised his hands in a placating gesture. "OK, OK, then I guess I've got no choice."

"Wha?" Chun asked, puzzled.

Charlie just smiled. "You go on to the match. I'll take care of the rest."

"Okay... but this better be good!" she stated as she jogged out of the room.

"Alll right, y'all, now let's see who's the poor shmuck with th' bad luck to be facin' down tha baddest dog in the lot today!" Billy said over the P.A. as Chun's entry music began playing. "Why, it's-"

Another voice broke in. "CUT THE MUSIC!"

The music obligingly stopped, and there were a confused few seconds before a spotlight picked up a figure with... unique... blond hair sitting at the ringside announcer's table. The figure stood, revealing itself to be Charlie Nash. "Llllladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, children of all ages... ARE YOU READY??" he intoned in a deep voice, managing a surprisingly good Michael Buffer imitation. "I am Charlie Nash, and I'm here to introduce my longtime friend and fellow fighter for law and order! I GIVE YOU! The Blue Wonder of Interpol, The Champion of China, My better half in the Tag Team 'Bison's Worst Nightmare', the STRONGEST WOMAN IN THE WOOOORLD... *CHUN!* *LI!*"

Chun jogged to the ring amid thunderous applause, giggling like a schoolgirl. "Char-lie!" she mock-growled as she passed. "You could have warned me!!"

Charlie just smiled at her. "Yeah, but it gave you more of a lift this way. Now go get 'im!"

Chun Li climbed into the ring and smirked. "Now let's see how you fight *off* the beach, mutt."

Oh, this bitch was going *down*... I tensed, ready to gnaw her into a chew toy...

But instead of a bell ringing, a voice drifted down from the P.A. system. "Actually, with Charlie at ringside, it's not that fair... and besides, we need to spice this up," Iczel_prime said. "Activate teleporter!!"

Both fighters derezzed in a sparkle of light...

...only to reappear somewhere in a basement, where it was dimly lit, dank, moist, and *hot.*

And the P.A. was still working.

"Who wants a Boiler Room Brawl!?" Iczel asked, and the fighters could dimly hear the crowd roar over the mechanical noise in the room. "The rules are simple! The first fighter to find the door and get out of the room is the winner! Besides that..." A dramatic pause. "ANYTHING GOES!"

More dimly heard cheering... and a ringing bell.

"LLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLE!!" Charlie roared.

As the sparkles died down, I finally got a good look at the stupid girl fighting me this time. Well, maybe 'good' is the wrong word, especially since she still had her ass-end facing me. And as several people could tell you, it's a *bad* idea to have your posterior waggling near my jaws when I'm pissed.

Before I got a chance to deliver my mighty biting of bite-nocity, the girl turned around. Heh, I have to wonder if she saw the last match or not. What, you people don't think I'm an all-around, bad-ass looking devil dog? Tsch, forget y'all then.

Before she remembered just what she was there to do, I turned around a took off like a shot through a tight web of piping. That fat-legged cow couldn't have followed me in if she'd greased herself up and tried slide through, hahaha!

In the crowded seats, the six mysterious strangers watched mysteriously.

"He's good..." said the man with the blond beard.

"Kraaaw..." his scaley companion agreed.

"No lie, but my money's on the girl," the red-cloaked man replied.

Looking through my new hiding spot, I saw that idiot cop looking around frantically trying to find me. That's when a new little thought entered my head. While I was originally going to attack full-on with The Fool, I decided to have a little fun, first.

*Snap!*

"Ow!" yelped the girl. I'd had The Fool make a small jet of sand spurt out of a pipe behind her, and the result was the same as snapping a wet towel on her bottom. Luckily, the steam coming from some of the pipes masked my laughter.

*Snap!*

"Yeow!"

*Snap!*

"Whoa!"

*Snap!*

"Ouch, dammit!"

"Woo hoo! Get 'er Iggi!" came the enthusiastic cries of Billy, "Show 'er not to mess with the two-foot terror of N!Y!C!" The thunderous approval of Iggi's supporters in the stands made itself quite known.

"Keep your cool, Chun... I know you can find *some* way of winkling that mutt out of hiding!" Charlie countered.

"You are so DEAD!" Chun exclaimed as another lash of sand smacked her. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending upon whose opinion you were asking, this one had come from a pipe that was to her right side instead of straight behind, and she whirled on the villain conduit.

"Kikoken!"

The palm-launched ball of *chi* hurtled into the pipe and vanished...

...and with a yelp and a *pfwoosh!*, Iggi was blasted out the other end of the pipe, bouncing off the wall.

"*Now* I've got you!! HYA HYA HYA HYA HYA!!" Chun cried, leaping forwards before Iggi could touch ground and beginning the Lightning Kick.

For the next few seconds, the small dog performed a good impression of a hacky-sack as Chun Li juggled him with one leg.

"YEAH! Go, girl! Show that mutt it's not safe to mess with Interpol's finest!!" Charlie cheered, while Billy was alarmed.

"Iggi!! Get outta there, lil' buddy!!"

If I had to summarize my feelings on the girls attack, it would probably be somewhere along the lines of 'Owowowowowowowowowow!". Luckily, being as small as I was, I was about to flip away on one of her higher kicks. Unfortunately, I didn't pick a good landing spot, for just as my vision went back to normal, I realized that I was on a scalding hot pipe that was burning my feet to little paw-sized charcoal bits.

For some reason, Miss Li found it very humorous, the way I jumped around and yelped in pain. Is that not inhumanely cruel, folks?

Leaping down to the floor, I was lucky the girl was too busy wiping the tears from her eyes to notice me. Now, I'll bet you guys only thought I could do that Sand Warp on the beach, didn't you? Wrong. While I probably *could* have shot straight for the exit, I wasn't done with my fun yet.

I came up behind the just recovering cop. Oh, this was gonna be sweet....

The bearded man in the red cloak winced. "Ouch..." he said, "that's gotta hurt."

His military-dressed companion seemed to be pondering something with a lecherous look in his eyes, and opened his mouth to say something until he noticed the red-haired woman pointing a balled up, flaming fist at him. He wisely decided not to speak his mind.

"EYAAAAGH!" Chun yelled, leaping ten feet in the air and banging her head on the ceiling of the boiler room.

The only good thing about it was that it shook Iggi loose from his tooth-hold on her behind. She spun in midair as she came down, and they landed facing each other. "You little bastard, you are SO DEAD!!" she shrieked, and lunged at Iggi, her fist leaving cracks in the floor as the dog yelped and leaped to one side.

He had to leap again as her other hand came down, and for a minute or two there was chaos in the boiler room as the interpol agent tried to chase down the elusive canine... until he leaped left to avoid a stomp and yelped as he found himself in the corner.

Chun smirked. "Herded you right where I wanted you!" she gloated while pulling her cupped hands together in front of her.

"Hawwww... KIKOSHO!"

That...I was not expecting. The Fool must have been, though, as I was covered with a dome of swirling sand moments before that girls Big Ass-Fireball hit me. And no, the dash is *not* in the wrong place, she just wants you to *think* she's getting all that from her hands. No, really.

As the energy died down, I formulated a brilliant scheme! The Fool came up, but before the light of the Big Ass-Fireball died down, it changed into a sandy-looking copy of the cop I was fighting. As she looked at my new weapon in stunned silence, I lauched the same lightning fast kick move the bitch had used on me a few moments prior. Smart idea, right?

Smart idea, wrong. The minute The Fool got up to speed, sand started flying harmlessly around. Apparently the kick was too fast for the legs of The Fool. D'oh.

Chun smirked at the double as it looked at the wispy stream of sand that was once its leg. "Hah! A cheap copy! This is how you *really* do the Lightning Kick!!" she yelled, lashing out several times and scattering the sand forming her double.

But when the sand hit the ground, there was no dog behind it. "Wha!? Where'd he go!?" she blurted out, then as she glanced to one side she saw - the door.

And Iggi, halfway there and scampering fast.

"Oh no you DON'T!" the young agent yelled, breaking into a sprint after her foe... until she had taken two steps out into an open area, that is.

I'll spare you the long, drawn out speech. Sand Avalanche, and that's all you need to know right now.

The six mysterious figured stared. Mysteriously. They then blinked, which didn't look mysterious, because they were mysterious enough to know when to stop acting mysterious for a second.

"Kraww." Commented the scaled one.

"Indeed..." agreed the boy.

"You okay, partner?" Billy asked, waving his hand in front of the open-mouthed Charlie.

"How did...he...do...that?" inquired the Air Force Seargeant.

Billy just shrugged. "He's Iggi, and he's filled with goo."

"Goo?"

"Justice goo." he added.

"...okaaay..."

Well, yeah, The Fool accidently closed the door when he slammed that silly cop into it, but that was remedied quickly. While I heard cries of 'Medic! Medic!" coming from the blond man, The Fool reappeared and nonchalantly opened the door for me. Did I mention it was wearing a Fool-sized doorman's hat? I found it moderately humorous as I trotted out the door.

"Ahem...I believe you two owe us for the little wager?" said the bearded man in the scarf. He and his scaly companion held out a hand and tentacle, respectivly.

The military man grumbled "But what's a squid-"

"KRAAAW!"

"Uhh...I mean, what's *he* going to do with that much potch!?"

"I don't care. Maybe buy a new pot for his kid or something. Just hand it over."

The soldier and the red-cloaked mercenary handed over the cash, begrudgingly, both trying to ignore the snickers of 'We told you so..." coming from the boy and girl next to them.

"Well, folks," Billy continued as the medics rushed Chun to the infirmery, "I guess that's it for this round. Let's hear for the original Bad Dog of NYC! My man Iggi!"

And the crowd! Went! WIIIILLLLD!