Sahtalus rumbled into a locker room that Jedah had claimed for himself. (Not) Surprisingly no one else had wanted to use it. Sahtalus' three pairs of eyes blinked.

"My lord!" He gasped. "Why are you in your puny human form? The whole world must see your magnificent evil!"

Jedah, in his human form, looked up. "What? Oh, yes the people running this tournament insisted that I be in human form when I'm not fighting in a match. Some lame excuse like I was frightening the little children. Bah!" He looked around. "This year no one will laugh at me! I'll make each and every one of them burn in the firey pits of hell if they try and mock me this year!"

"But sire-what if you lose this year?"

"I WILL NOT LOSE!" Jedah howled, leaping up. Despite his great size and legendary strength, Sahtalus shrank back at the fury of the Dark God. "THESE ARE PATHETIC MORTALS! THEY! WILL! NOT! BEAT! MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Jedah stood there, panting for a few moments. Then he straightened up. "'Sides, the only reason I lost last year was because I got overconfident. Plus, that final match...I dunno, I wasn't exactly feeling like myself. Different, somehow. I don't really remember giggling so much before than. Guess I was hepped up on my own crapulence and-Wipe that grin off your face!"

Sahtalus coughed. "Er, yes m'lord. Anyway, the puny humans have decreed it is your time to fight. We are looking forward to your victory, oh great and mighty Dark God!"

"Fine, fine-Queenie's my first opponent, right?"

"Yes my lord." Sahtalus nodded. "You had the system rigged so she'd be your first contender."

"Did I? Good for me." Jedah's brow furrowed momentarily. He stood. "Right. Let's get this over with."

Sahtalus stepped obediently out of the way, allowing Jedah to pass by towards the arena.

Q-Bee really didn't want to be in the tournament. It was confusing and loud and she couldn't understand a word anyone was saying, save for the Dark Lord, Jedah. It wasn't fair! What had she done to deserve this? This place would drive even the sanest Darkstalker completely mad! All the flashing lights and painful sounds and it was too crowded and she really wanted to go home!

"Where am I?" she wondered aloud. "We can't be in Mikai anymore."

"We're not, Queen," one of the Soul Bees said. At least she hadn't come alone; a dozen of her Soul Bee troops had accompanied her to this strange place (where all logic fell apart and the laws of physics were regularly broken, a more perceptive individual might've said). "I believe we are in…"

"Yes?" Q-Bee asked expectantly.

"...Ningenkai."

"Ningenkai?!" Q-Bee tensed at hearing this news. Oh no! This was awful! She was stuck in the human world and it was even scarier than the stories said it was! And the humans were mean and didn't even speak in a way that she could understand! What was this thing all about, anyway? People seemed to be fighting other people for no reason and it was pretty scary. Then more people made weird noises that sounded... weird! And scary.

"Stupid Ningenkai," Q-Bee buzzed unhappily to herself. "I wanna go back to Mikai."

"Ah, do you, yes, do you not," a strange voice responded. Wait a minute. Q-Bee didn't know whoever was saying it, but whoever it was could speak so she could understand it (albeit very strangely) and that was nice.

Then she caught a glimpse of the speaker.

He was an old man with a beard and wore plain brown clothes.

"Eeek! Human!" Q-Bee hopped away from this human.

"Ahhhh, hothot bee-lady, frightened? No, fear are the way of mortal man! I may tlansrate for you, yeah? I spoke to masses and masses all time! They know my way! I offered service! Accept?" the old man rambled.

It took two minutes for Q-Bee to respond, simply because she had trouble sifting through the man's mode of speech. His grammar was terrible and it was confusing. But she caught the gist of it; he was offering to translate for her. "Okay!" she cried. "It couldn't hurt. But... What's your name?"

"I are Bordam Daravon," the old man replied. "Ability is a skill you can learn with Job training."

“ANNNND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! OUR NEXT MATCH IS GUARANTEED TO BE A REAL HUMDINGER! WE’VE GOT THE DARK GOD JEDAH DOHMA-“ At this, the entire audience as one gave a loud ‘boo’. Hiro continued unabated. “AGAINST HIS OWN MINION, QUEEN BEE!”

“BOO-Wait, we’re fairly ambivalent to Q-Bee. Er, YEAH!” The audience said as one.

“Yes, Jedah is a veteran of these tournaments, although his popularity sank rather low last year due to his insanely brutal matches.” Dai commented. “Queen Bee, or Q-Bee is a newcomer to this event and the whole crowd back at the Fortress Maijiden is rooting for both contestants.”

“WHOOHA! NOW LET’S-“

“WAIT!” A voice cried from the doorway. Framed against the light was a terrible figure, a being of pure evil, one who the Tournament people had hoped to never see again.

“I’ve come back for my old job!” BJ Nash said, striding in. “You people don’t have the right to take it away from me!”

Hiro screamed and threw himself through the window. Dai, however, stood her ground. “BJ Nash? Weren’t you thrown to a horde of sex-starved Succubi last Tournament? When Dark Sakura fought Demitri?”

“Well, yes, and I was in a body cast for six months, but you know…” Nash’s eyes glazed over. “It wasn’t that bad.”

Dai blinked. And then blinked again. Then she shivered. “Okay, I really did NOT need that. Fine, we’ll give you this match, but you have to give the job back after. Remember, we’re only doing this as a courtesy for the work you did in the first Tournament.” Giving him an odd look, Dai exited.

BJ Nash, having gone insane from being torn from his role as commentator and having been the sex-toy of a couple hundred Succubi, laughed maniacally. Dai heard him, and made a dash for the door, aware of the mistake she’d made, but Nash was faster, slamming the door shut and locking it. As Dai pounded on the door, BJ Nash calmly took his seat and then started laughing maniacally.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FOOLS! NOW I, THE MAGNIFICENT BJ NASH AM BACK WHERE I SHOULD BE! THE WORLD WILL REJOICE! WHY, I HAVEN’T FELT THIS GOOD SINCE-“ He then proceeded to tell the audience about this one time at his grandparents where they’d had Christmas and little BJ Nash got this little puppy named Mr. Yaps, but then when they took him home, Mr. Yaps bit BJ Nash and ran away and got hit by a car. Hey, that wasn’t it! Okay, how about the time he went to a music summer camp and he was gonna play this tuba solo, but Eddie Derdsham, that big bully, put a cherry bomb in the tuba and when BJ Nash had gone to play it, it exploded and he couldn’t play the solo. No, wait, that wasn’t it either. Okay, there was this time, yeah, when-

By now the audience was screaming, clawing at their ears. BJ Nash paused. “Oh, hey, yeah, there was a match, wasn’t there? Well I, BJ Nash the Stupendous, will now introduce the contestants. But before we do that, I just want to say how much I love you all. I’m sorry I left you before…BUT NEVER AGAIN! BJ NASH IS HERE TO STAY BABY! NO ONE IS TAKING THIS AWAY FROM ME! ‘CAUSE IF THEY TRY, THE BOMB I PLANTED WILL EXPLODE AND TAKE THIS WHOLE STADIUM WITH ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Dai stopped hacking at the door with an axe. “What? Bomb?”

There was dead silence in the arena.

“Oh, did I forget to mention that? Silly, silly me!” BJ Nash giggled. “I’ve planted a bomb inside the stadium. If anyone, ANYONE tries to remove me from this office, I will press the button on my detonator and blow this arena sky-high! Heehee! The Perfect Crime! Oh, and don’t try to leave either, ‘cause then I’ll detonate the bomb! We’ll see this Tournament to the end! Hahahahahahahahaha! And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the contestants of this match, the evil (but not as evil as I, BJ Nash the Diabolical!), the Dark God, Jedah Dohma!”

Jedah came out of his end of the ring, accompanied by Verano, who was blowing an infernal tune on a bugle, and Sabbath, who created some suitably impressive lighting effects, which would have been well-liked by the audience, even if it was Jedah, except that death was hanging in the air.

Jedah came to the center of the ring, and looked up hungrily at the announcers booth. He stood there, looking directly at BJ Nash, and realized he was salivating. “So…delicious…looking…I WANT it!”

BJ Nash’s eyebrow quirked. “Eh?”

Jedah grinned and winked at him. “I’ll see you after the match!”

Nash gulped. Anyway, time to introduce Q-Bee. "And now we have Queen Bee, Elite minion of Jedah and absolute ruler of the Soul Bee Horde of Mikai!"

"Am tlansrating the phrases and speech of the the Queen Bee. Am the Daravon, grate scholar and historin!" Another voice declared as Q-Bee buzzed out.

BJ Nash whipped around to see Daravon standing next to him. "How the HELL did you get in here?!" He shrieked.

“The am the very wise in in ways of stealth as the shadows! Beloveds small for you’re crazy weird schemes, annoying voice man!” Daravon nodded sagely.

“Er...ANYWAY,” Nash coughed, realizing he was in no immediate danger. “Let’s get started! Contestants fight! GOD I LOVE THIS! THE POWER, MY GOD THE POWER! I WAS A FOOL TO GIVE THIS UP! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

The audience groaned

Jedah and Q-Bee stood there for a moment. Then Jedah grinned. “Hey, Queenie, can we finish this soon? I wanna go have some fun with that BJ Nash guy.” He chuckled. BJ Nash blanched.

“Oh okay! The sooner I get out of here the better! I HATE Ningenkai!” Q-Bee sobbed.

“She is saying how she hates Ningenkai called Earth and how fastly she wants to is be leave it.” Daravon informed the audience.

“SHE CAN’T LEAVE! NO ONE CAN LEAVE! EVERYONE WILL STAY HERE WITH ME AND WE’LL HAVE TOURNAMENT AFTER TOURNAMENT AND HAVE FUN AND BE A BIG HAPPY FAMILY FOREVER!” BJ Nash ranted. “ISN’T THAT EXCITING?”

The audience groaned. He was SO annoying.

Jedah started pacing. “Okay, how do we do this? Okay. Queenie, if you win, you get the all-night, all-you-can-eat buffet at Maijiden.”

Queen Bee nodded happily. “Okay! What about if you win?”

“I win, I get something REALLY special that Mr. Nash is going to give me.”

BJ Nash sweatdropped.

“They are saying that are the winnings of the Bee’s Queen gets eating all she wants, if Jedah is win, gets to get something from Mr. Crazy Nash.” Daravon said.

“Okay!” Q-Bee said.

“Right then! Let’s give these pathetic mortals a REAL fight! Let’s go Queenie!” Jedah leapt up into the air as Ba’al materialized in the air.

“Yay!” Q-Bee cried as she flew up after him.

Jedah charged. Q-Bee charged. They flew at each other. They came within reach of each other. Jedah raised his arm and...flicked Q-Bee on the nose. Her head snapped back. “What? You didn’t throw a punch or slashed at me or kick me or anything!”

“She are wondering why no hurt of attacks is coming at her in way.” Daravon clarified.

Jedah shrugged. “Well, you ARE one of my Elite and you command the Soul Bee Horde. I can’t very well deal you any SERIOUS damage, otherwise what good are you to me?”

“Oh. Makes sense.”

“But hey, let loose on me whatever ya got.” Jedah said. “One doesn’t become a Dark God if they don’t learn to take SOME damage, you know?”

“Okay!” Q-Bee said happily. She immediately launched a kick at at Jedah who flew to avoid it, giving her a light thwack on the head as she passed. She turned around in midair and morphed her legs into a drill and flew at Jedah. Jedah dropped the ground, and Q-Bee went flying past.

“Jedah am fooling with beelady Queen. Not use strength at are full, yeah?”

“Well, this is a boring match.” BJ Nash noted. “Why, I remember back in the days of yore, during the first Tournament, when...” He rambled off into another boring speech.”

Q-Bee dropped from the ground and stood there confused. He’s just fooling with me. Well, I guess if he said I could fight him with everything I’ve got, than I should! Her antennae twitched. Almost immediately, a dozen Soul Bees dropped from the sky and surrounded Jedah.

“Aha! She are using full strength of large horde of little bee soldiers that are going to be defeated the Jedah in big large numbers!” Daravon deduced.

“...And then the cat threw up on...Hey, I don’t think outside help is allowed!” BJ Nash said, snapping out of his ramblings.

Jedah held up his hand. “Oh, that’s alright, I don’t mind.”

Q-Bee grinned. “Sorry about this, Lord Jedah! But I would like to win!” She sent a command to the Soul Bees who immediately threw themselves on Jedah and he was no longer visible.

There was a pause.

Suddenly, there was a flash as the Soul Bees went flying in all directions, and Jedah flew out of the pile straight at Q-Bee. She gasped, and stumbled back as Jedah beared down at her. One of his hands grabbed her wrist and the other hand...tickled her on the neck. Q-Bee started to giggle. Jedah tickled some more. She began laughing.

“Ticky-ticky-ticky!” Jedah grinned as Q-Bee laughed hysterically.

“Stop it! Stop it! Hahahahahaha! I can’t....I can’t breathe! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!”

“Say I win! Say it!” Jedah laughed maniacally.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I can’t...I can’t...hahahahahahaha, okay, you win, you hahahahahahaha win! Stop!” Q-Bee laughed.

Jedah nodded, stopped tickling, and released Q-Bee’s wrist and stepped back. “Great, I win.”

Q-Bee fell to her knees, panting. There was silence.

“Er...alright. So, as I was saying, the cat then threw up on-” BJ Nash started suddenly.

“SHUT UP!” The a guy audience hissed.

BJ Nash looked hurt. “Why?”

“Because you’re annoying!” The guy shouted.

Jedah grinned.

BJ Nash growled. “Well then. Someone’s being mean! I don’t think I like you! I think I’ll have to detonate my bomb! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Nice work, genius.” The audience scowled at the heckler.

“We is are doomed to being dead and being little pieces that are have been blowed up in big exposion!” Daravon cried.

BJ Nash stood from his seat and rummaged around in his pocket and pulled out...What appeared to be a DVD remote controller.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” He laughed. “NOW YOU WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CROSS BJ NASH THE UNSTOPPABLE! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!”

“But you’ll die too!” The audience shouted

“A blaze of glory! AND I’M TAKING YOU ALL WITH ME! SEE YOU IN HELL, YOU LOSERS!” He pressed the ‘play’ button, and there was a flash of red light!

...on the little red LCD light at the top of the controller. Other than that, nothing happpened.

The audience, as a one, opened their eyes. Nothing had happened.

BJ Nash stood there, giggling insanely. “Ha...ha...the final joke...ha...” He muttered.

The door opened, and Dai came in with two burly ClashDome guards. She held a round black object. “So, this is your bomb, eh Nash? A cabbage painted black with a piece of string glued to it? You ARE sick.”

“See? See? You need me! I had you all going! I’m so clever! You only WISH you and Hiro could be as witty and imaginative as I! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Nash laughed insanely.

Dai sighed. “So annoying...” She muttered.

“I know.” A voice said. Everyone whipped around to see Jedah and Q-Bee standing next to the hole Hiro made in the window. “So annoying...so very, very, very annoying. Heheh.” He stepped forward to BJ Nash.

He screamed. “NO! NO! NOT AGAIN! I WON’T BE YOUR BUTTMONKEY!” He screamed. “YOU AREN’T EVEN A CHICK!”

Jedah looked confused. “What? Oh, HECK no, I don’t want that! You’re hardly what I look for in a man anyways.” He winked at Nash. He came right up to the announcer and smiled. BJ Nash calmed and untensed.

Suddenly, Jedah plunged his arm right into BJ Nash’s chest! “I JUST WANT YOUR SOUL!” He laughed. Light began coursing from BJ Nash up Jedah’s arm and onto the rest of the Dark God’s body. BJ Nash screamed as his soul was ripped from his body.

“Your powers of annoyance are so very great! I must have them for myself!” Jedah laughed. “With your annoyance backing me, I will be unstoppable! This Tournament is as good as mine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Yay Lord Jedah!” Q-Bee laughed, clapping her hands together excitedly.

Suddenly, the light faded. Jedah withdrew his hand, and the withered corpse of what had once been BJ Nash fell to the floor and crumbled into ash. Jedah stumbled back. “Whoooha...head rush!” Q-Bee rushed forward to support him.

Jedah giggled. “Oooh wow! This reminds me of the time I...” He began rambling about nothing in particular, his eyes glazing over.

Verano stepped into the room “He’d better lie down. Come, we’ll take him to his locker room. He can rest for his next match.”

Q-Bee nodded. “Okay. I’m just glad this is over for me. I HATE Ningenkai!” She carried the still ranting Jedah out the door and paused by Daravon. “Thanks, I guess.”

Daravon nodded. “With hothot beelady done, I is having finished tournament as well. I is now gone to where other tlansrators are being needed. Year.” And he shuffled out the door. Q-Bee and Verano carried the raving Jedah out the door.

Dai was gaping at the ashes of BJ Nash. “My god...” She whispered. “He killed him! He killed BJ Nash and took his soul! I don’t believe it!”

“Well, Jedah can’t be ALL bad then, can he?” A guard asked.

Dai shrugged. “Guess not.”