Lord Dio's mansion is very large and has many expensive artifacts from all over the world. It is imperative I keep them in their cases and make sure they stay where they are.

Lord Dio is away right now, but he is Lord Dio. He will most certainly return with new stories to tell of vanquished enemies, of great victories, and new plans for conquest.

So I wait, patiently, and Lord Dio will return. But for now, I must keep a close eye on his treasures, for if just one of them were to disappear, my life would be forfeit.

But no treasure ever has. I have made sure of that. I peck the eyes out of each intruder, and then have Horus freeze their blood. It is fun to watch them die a freezing death.

I am reading an excellent book. It is called Gormenghast, a dark, gothic book of intrigue. I enjoy it immensely. Oh Steerpike, you irrepressible villain you, where will your madcap adventures take you next?

I am reading intently when a magical alarm goes off. I fly from the table and the book and follow the sound of the alarm. A window on the second floor has been opened. I fly fast, hoping to cut off the intruder before he can make off with anything.

I race around the corner and send Horus flying in, condensing the air and freezing it into an icy lance to skewer him.

"TELEPORT!" A voice calls out. There is a flash of light and the lance vanishes!

I stop and perch on a bookshelf. A man is there, dressed in black. But more importantly, he has a Stand of his own.

"So, Dio's pet is here, eh? Ha! Nothing you do can hurt me if it's teleported five miles away! Choreographer, grab him!"

The Stand 'Choreographer' dashes forward. I swoop down to attack the intruder.

The Stand is very strange, as Stands go. It is a deep blue colour, with four tentacles writhing in the air. Its head is large, and oval with a giant eye being it's only feature.

I fly over the man's head, having Horus condense the air above him. This time, the distance between the ice block and the man is so small that he has no time to command Choreographer to attack me. The ice strikes him square on the head, but surprisingly, he does not lose consciousness, but he will most certainly be disoriented.

I fly forward in an attempt to rake my talons across the intruder's face. He stumbles, or ducks, it is hard to say which, and the wall looms up over me! No time to dodge!

-WHUMP-

That was painful. I'm seeing stars, and my helmet has slipped down over my eyes. I flap to my feet, jerking my head backwards in an attempt to slip my helmet back. There are times when I really could have done without it, but Lord Dio says I look more impressive this way.

Finally, after probably a few minutes, my helmet slips back to its rightful place. I shake my head and look around.

The intruder is gone. However, a door on the far side of the room is open. Oh no. That leads directly to Lord Dio's trophy room! I fly through the door, manoeuvring each turn and twist of the hallway. Down a flight of stairs to the second floor. There is a hallway and ahead of me in the darkness is the thief!

"TSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!" I rake my talons forward, and throw several ice projectiles at the man as I fly down the hallway towards him!

He whips around, and an ice lance slashes across his shoulder. Another hits him in the shoulder and the third and fourth ones miss him entirely. He throws himself to the side, but to no avail as one of my talons slashes across his cheek. I cackle silently to myself as I do a midair turn in the cramped hallway, preparing for a second strike.

Then, Choreographer rears up out of the darkness. The man laughs as a gun is teleported into his hand!

"It works both ways, bird! I just had Choreographer teleport the nearest gun to my hand! Eat hot lead!"

I fly directly over his head as he fires two wild shots in the air in front of him. It turn around and have Horus direct his power to freeze the man's gun. And, as I'm sure you know, metal can become extremely cold. The man gasps as the gun freezes and locks up.

"Okay then! Choreographer! Get me a machinegun!"

Choreographer wavers and a large machinegun appears in his hands. He aims it in my general direction. I fly back up the stairs as the bullets puncture many tiny holes in the woodwork.

I hear the intruder say, "Marvolo 1, Bird ZERO!" He laughs for a moment and then I hear his footsteps fade away..

I pause to collect myself. I can't freeze his blood, because his Stand prevents that. And it appears he can summon weapons from at least small distances, possibly from within the city. I curse Crazy Mohammed's Military Surplus Store as I swoop down the stairs. The man who calls himself 'Marvolo' is gone. But he must be heading to the trophy room down in the basement. I wonder how he knows the mansion so well.

I take every shortcut I know of, my mind racing. If he can teleport, why doesn't he just teleport to the trophy room, take what he wants, and then leave? It then occurs to me that while Choreographer may be able to teleport others and items to and from him, he may not be able to teleport himself. Either that, or magical wards Lord Dio placed on the trophy room may prevent Marvolo from teleporting items to himself. In any case, I won't be able to use Horus in the trophy room. So I'll have to get Marvolo before he gets there.

Eventually, I get to the stairs leading down into the basement of the mansion. The door slams closed as I round the corner, but this time, I am able to swoop clear away before I ram into the door.

I land on the ground and have Horus use more ice lances to shatter the door. I swoop through and down into the basement. I see Marvolo in the distance and I close in on him. He whips around as I come, and laughs. "I grow tired of this chase, bird! Remember the name Marvel Marvolo the Magnificent when you're out there so you can tell the whole world about my skills! Choreographer, teleport him in some random direction as far as you can!"

Choreographer rears up out of the darkness and its chest opens up and a blue light shoots towards me! The hall is too narrow for me to dodge! I can't-I am suddenly propelling myself through a blue vortex! I can't stop myself! Suddenly, I am flying above green trees. We don't have many trees in Egypt. This is slightly perturbing.

I perch on a branch and look around. The mass of forest carries on in all directions, yet.it ends at the foot of skyscrapers. I turn my head. The forest continues in all directions, until it ends at the foot of similar skyscrapers. I can hear many sounds. Cars, people. Distant, yet ever-present.

(Where in the Nine Hells am I?) I ask myself. I look, yes, Horus is still with me. There are grey skies looming up over two rectangular buildings of exactly the same height and width. I look down. Many stone pathways stretch out underneath me. They lead to a statue of a dog standing atop a stone pedestal. I can read the plaque from my perch (Hawk vision, you know), and it says something about Sled Dogs.

Where am I, London?

Regardless, this is not Cairo. This.is not even the same CONTINENT! My mind breaks down.

(NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO)

Suddenly, I am very weak. My world goes black as I topple from my perch on the tree and fall to the ground.